Here's a message I just left on my friend's answering machine:
"Hey, Chris, it's Dawn. I was calling because Diane told me you have the homeschool group's craft bag. I'm hoping you can bring it to Rosebuds at my house for the next meeting because I'm having the girls make thank you fards....I mean cards. (Here's where I pretend I did not just say a really stupid word by accident...yeah, that's right, I just said "fards," but I'm so cool, I'm going to keep going like it was nothing!). Anyway, if you're not planning on coming to the meeting, just let me know and I'll figure out a way to get the bag from you. Okay, thanks!" (Phew, no more mistakes!)
You know, if I contacted everyone I ever leave a stupid answering machine message for, and ask them to send me a copy of the tape, I could make a hilarious audio book!!! I swear!
But nothing beats my husband's all time worse ever answering machine message. He was calling a male co-worker at another branch in another city. He left his message, and at the end, because he's so used to saying it to me, he said, "I love you."
Realizing what he said, he just made it worse. "Ooops. *laugh* My wife would kill me if she knew I said that. Well, I guess not, unless I was gay. I mean....."
ROFLMAO! Luckily he's really good friends with the guy, but I told him that I wouldn't doubt it if they put the message on speaker phone and played it for the whole department down there!