Merry Christmas!

(Can you tell Amanda didn't want to have her picture taken *grin*)

The Baby I Found Alone Today

Oh me, oh my. How do I always get myself into these things? This is how my day was supposed to go today (Wednesday)

~Drive Amanda to mall for her to pick up some job forms and such

~Go to Target and get some of my groceries and stuff.

~Go to library for science project and book report books for the kids.

~Go to pharmacy to pick up my medicine (I'm using a new pharmacy now after yet another horrible, horrible debacle with CVS that I won't even bore you with, but believe me, it was so bad the district manager was apologizing all over the place and I got my $40 script for free. I'm still never going back there again, though.)

So that I wouldn't miss a day out of our homeschool curriculum, I packed up our school books, brought my brand new FREE laptop (Rob got it for me from work and it's loaded, baby!!!) for Matthew to play his class DVD's on, etc.

BUT, Rob called me from Ohio (he was on a business trip) and said his flight was delayed. He was switching flights and needed me to drive to DC to pick him up at Reagan National Airport and then drive him to Dulles Airport where his car was parked.

So....that meant I had to hurry through Target, rush home, scrap the pharmacy and library, get directions to the airport, then head out to pick him up.

This all started to go down when I was in the mall parking lot reading math flashcards to Natalie while waiting for Amanda. As I'm getting the bad news from Rob about having to pick him up, I look over at the car across from me and....

THERE'S A BABY SLEEPING ALONE IN THE CAR IN HIS CAR SEAT!!!!!!!!. In the middle of the freakin' mall parking lot!!!

I told Rob I needed to hang up immediately and call 911. We had been sitting there for at least 20 minutes and the car had been there when I pulled up, so who knows how long that baby was in there by himself!!!

Just as I hang up with the police, a lady pulls into the space in front of me, which is next to this car, gets out, sees the baby, looks around and her jaw drops. I roll down my window and tell her that I've already called the police. She said, "Good, because that's what I was about to do."

She started jotting down the license plate anyway (I don't know why) and I proceeded to pull into another row of cars to park so that if this mother came out, she wouldn't know I was the one who reported her. The 911 operator said that I could remain anonymous...something Rob was very adamant about.

An undercover car got there in less than two minutes. It turns out there was a bank robbery going on and they were in the area looking for the suspect! Think about that....there are freakin' bank robbers wandering around and this baby is in the car by himself!!!!!!!!!

Finally, an officer from the Sherriff's department arrived and started taking my statement. (Amanda had gotten back and was sitting in the locked van less than ten feet away)

The mother still had not come out of the mall. At this point, the baby, who I would guess was about 2-years-old, wakes up and starts crying. You could see that he was confused, sweating, and frantic.

I asked if I should go get Natalie, my 6-year-old, to talk to him through the window to see if it would calm him down.

"No," the officer said. "Usually they will respond to a woman. Try to talk to him and see if you can calm him down."

So I went to the window, and was trying to keep from crying myself, and I told him it was okay....that everything was going to be alright. But he screamed even more and kept yelling "Mommy! Mommy!"

It was all I could do to hold it together in front of everyone. I wanted to burst into tears.

I did get Natalie and it caught his attention for about one second, and then he got frantic again. So I took her back to the van where I felt better about her being anyway.

The police said they were sending a locksmith to unlock the car. The undercover officers suggested paging the mother over the loudspeaker at the store that we were parked in front of.

That did the trick. She came running out of the mall...ONLY BECAUSE SHE WAS PAGED!!!! Who knows how long she would've kept on shopping if she hadn't been called.

The officer asked her why she did it. She said, "I'm sorry. I had to return something."

SHE HAD TO RETURN SOMETHING?!!! The woman that was with me shook her head in disgust and the officer started ripping into the mother.

"How could you do that?!! Do you know what you've done?!! Do you know what a pedophile is?!"

The kid was calm in her arms at that point, and as wrong as she was, I felt so much guilt because I was the one that caused all of this commmotion by calling the police. I was the one that has now brought social services into this mother's life and I'm the one that got her in trouble.

I know I did the right thing. I know she deserves it and it was her fault, really. But I still couldn't help feeling soooo guilty. But, God forbid, if I hadn't called today and she left that baby alone one time and it wasn't me who found him, but a pedophile or bank robber.

Now, the scary thing for me is, I cannot remain anonymous. The officer said I may have to testify in court and that I can't do it anonymously. And when he took down her information on his legal pad, there was my full name, address, phone number, etc. right at the top for her to see.

All I need is some crazy father coming to kill me before I can appear as a witness for them to have their child taken away from them or something. I know that sounds paranoid, but it happens all the time!

The officer gave me his card, said I could call for updates on the case whenever I wanted to, and that it might not even make it to court. It all depends on what child protective services decides to do.

I don't know why I feel bad for this mother. I guess I think about all of the mistakes I've made as a mom over the years (nothing like that, though!) and I keep picturing her at home now, crying and holding her baby, worried about what's to come. Because of me.

This may sound stereotypical, but she was Indian. And the thought crossed my mind, what if she goes home and her husband beats her over this. Now don't judge me by saying that, please!!!! It's just that some cultures believe that that is okay, and I may be wrong, but I think India is one of them. So, I tortured myself with visions of that which just added to my guilt. (And let me be really, really clear here...I do NOT believe if you're an Indian man, you automatically beat your wife...honestly I don't!)

I called my mom and she reassured me. "You did the right thing," she said. "That mother deserves whatever punishment is coming to her. (I didn't tell my mom about the beating scenario, so she didn't mean that!) If she hadn't come out when she did, and the lock smith had opened the car before she arrived, the child would've been taken away from her, so she's lucky that didn't happen."

I guess I need to think of that precious little guy when I feel guilty, and not the mother. I need to think about how vulnerable he was. I mean, what if I had been a bad guy with bad intentions? THAT'S what I should consider. That she was LUCKY it was me and that I called and protected her child. Instead of one day, her coming back from a shopping spree to find him gone.

And if something happens to me because I came forward, well, then it was meant to be. Let go...let God. I can't worry myself over all of the "what if's."

Needless to say, we bagged school for the rest of the day, rushed through Target, got to the airport safely, then came home to celebrate Amanda's birthday (what a birthday for her, huh?!!)

And then I hugged all of my children closely and counted my blessings, and tonight, I will pray for that mother and that child.

The Day After

Remembering Francine A. Virgilio

Note: At the request of the organizer of 2,996, I am posting this tribute early (Saturday evening). I have dated it September 11, however and will not publish any other posts until the 12th.


Our family is reading about the life of Saint Frances Cabrini, an Italian-American saint (the first Italian-American to become a saint). Her real name was Francesca.

So while I was searching for information on Francine A. Virgilio, who died in the Twin Towers on 9/11, I found a message board in which she is referred to as "Francesca."

I don't think that's coincidence.

In reading about this amazing woman's life - her kindness, acts of charity and love of others, I think you could say she was a saint on earth.

Born June 7 in Brooklyn, NY, Francine was 48-years-old when she died in the World Trade Center. She worked there as Vice President of insurance claims for Aon Corp. Francine lived for a short time in Sicily, but always considered New York her home, so much so that she was a devoted New York Yankees fan.

Though she wasn't married and had no children, she served as a "surrogate mother" to her four nephews, who considered her "cool" enough to hang out with without being embarrassed in front of their friends.

As a NY Times article noted:

One Christmas, Francine Virgilio treated her nephews to a show with the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall and dinner afterward at Mickey Mantle's. She even hired a limousine to take them around.

Cool aunt, indeed!

From an SLive.com article:

"If there was a second mother to us, she would be it," said her nephew, Kevin. "She would always come up from the city to visit us. We are like the sons she never had."

Her other nephews are Salvatore, Joseph and Paul Virgilio.

The NY Times article goes on to describe a little about her life:

An Aon executive, Ms. Virgilio started out as a secretary after high school and worked her way up. She was just as disciplined about her favorite team, the Yankees. She followed them through the bad years, and kept an autographed photo of Lou Piniella on her desk. Last year, she snagged a ticket to the Subway Series and had it framed for a place in her home on Staten Island.

Generous does not seem an appropriate word to describe how incredibly giving Francine was. Her sister-in-law Susan was quoted as saying, "A lot of times it was more fun to watch her give the gift than to watch the person she gave it to open it."

From the SLive.com article, writer David Andreatta summed up Francine's generosity perfectly:

She spent nearly 20 years caring for her ailing parents in their Queens home before settling on Staten Island in 1993. A humanitarian who rarely asked for favors, Ms. Virgilio donated her time and resources to several charitable organizations, including the Alzheimer's Foundation and Save the Children, through which she adopted a little girl.

Even on the day she went missing, Ms. Virgilio had planned to meet her sister-in-law, Susan Virgilio, for lunch in Manhattan, and to give her a 35mm camera so her nephew could take a photography course at his high school.

Unfortunately, that lunch would never happen.

According to the SLive article, at 9:05 a.m., just two minutes after the first plane crashed into the first tower, Francine called Susan from the 98th floor of the building where she worked.

In her seemingly understated way, she phoned Susan and told her she wouldn't be able to make it for lunch, but she would call her later that evening. I was struck by her words. It appears as if she is once again thinking of others instead of herself, not wanting to worry her family.

On September 16, 2001, firefighter John Caputo found Francine's checkbook among the rubble. In the book were photographs of her loved ones as well as a blood donor card, just another symbol of her generous spirit.

In addition to her sister-in-law and nephews, Francine is survived by her mother Josephine Sorrentino Virgilio, and her brother, Nunzio.

If you have the time, please visit this message board to see how loved Francine was by so many.

Also, the SLive article has more detailed information on Francine's life and is very well-written.

God bless you, Francine. God bless you, your family, friends and loved ones. I will never forget you and feel so priviledged to have learned about your wonderful life.

Natalie's B-Day Picture

I can't believe my baby is six-years-old. :(

Here are some photos of her as a baby:





Matthew just turned 10. I'm putting up a portrait of him with Amanda and Natalie (he's not into doing b-day photos...he's too old for that now!). We didn't have a lot of money when he was a baby, so I don't have as many cutie-pie portraits of him. I do have one that I'll have to dig up and post.

Double digits for my little guy. :(

I want to freeze my kids and not let them grow any older.

Heaven = Starbucks Iced Soy Caramel Vanilla Macchiato

After my Starbucks lactose debacle, I took the advice of the kind Starbucks rep and tried both an Iced Soy Mocha and an Iced Soy Caramel Vanilla Macchiato (no whip, of course).

The Iced Soy Mocha was good, but oh my gosh....the Macchiato.....there simply are no words to describe it. I didn't even ask them to blend it for me, like the rep suggested. It was good just the way it was. "Good" is such an understatement.

Just imagine a hot, hot day, and getting this delicious, cool, venti drink. It even looks delicious....a mixture of brown latte and golden caramel, with the white vanilla and soy swirling in between.

And when you take a sip....oh my gosh!!!! (I have to stop using that phrase so much, but that's how I feel!) It's cold, coffee-ish, and vanilla-ish, and then you actually sip the caramel syrup through the straw and it just melts in your mouth.

If you haven't tried it, do it now!!!!

And don't forget to say hello to my renter Dutchy! She has a brand new, pretty template to look at.

My numbers aren't so good on this first rent campaign here. I have WAY more readers here than I do on my other blog, yet my rental stats are HUGE over there, and not so much here. Help a girl out and help me get those numbers up!! Thank you!!

John Cusack's Stalker Emily Leatherman on Being a "Victim"

Stalker, I mean victim, Emily Leatherman said she's not crazy. She's simply trying to get media attention after being drugged, raped and made a victim of sex trafficking.

Ooooooh. Okay. So that explains all of the love notes thrown over the fence of John Cusack's house. That explains why she said she'd harm herself if he didn't respond. She was simply trying to get the world's attention for the torture she underwent! Let's all breathe a sigh of relief now.

Watch the video of her explanation here.

I Broke Rule #1

Okay, it wasn't really a rule, per say. But, it was something I said I'd never say. And, well, I didn't really SAY it, I did it, so maybe I didn't really break anything.

Anyway.....Remember my list of 10 things I'd never say? Well, last week, I had to do the dreaded "go out in public without my make-up on."

But, it's even worse than that. Let me explain....

Rob was home waiting for the car place to let us know they were done working on the van so we could go get it together. I wanted to work out. He said he had to leave as soon as they called so he could get right back to work.

I took my chances and did a full-on step aerobic workout (it was Carribean Workout on FitTV...I LOVE that channel!)

As soon as it ended, and I mean the second it ended, he yells, "Let's go...it's ready!"(They'd called him on his cell and I didn't hear it)

So, I go out in my workout shorts and sweaty tank-top. So everything from the neck down probably looked good. BUT, my face was beet red. And my hair was pulled up with a hair clip thingie holding it up. I don't even look remotely good with my hair pulled up. I look hideous.

Picture Pamela Anderson's body (I know I'm flattering myself...but work with me here), with Kathy Griffin's face, only without make-up, with sweat pouring down, and her face the color of a sunburn (see...I can balance my egotistical side with a little self-deprication! But do know that I don't look THAT bad in reality, lol!)

Now here's the thing. Men must have a magical ability to separate the two body parts. Because when I was getting into the van, I got a bunch of cat-calls from the mechanics. I'm thinking "You've got to seriously be on something!" but then I realized they probably weren't looking at my face at all.

Which makes me wonder about all the cat-calls I've ever received in my life. Does it really mean I'm pretty? Or were they always mentally putting a bag over my head?

For my ego's sake, I'll let myself think it's the former.
*********************
Note: Don't forget to visit my fine friend and renter Dutchy! Tell her Pamela Griffin sent you!

Blonde Moment #462....

in which I run to our local rec center from the parking lot in the rain with my sandals on, only to have one come flying off of the back of my foot, while I fall forward and magically stop myself from making a complete fool of myself by falling flat on my face.

Somehow, I managed to catch myself, but then I couldn't find my shoe. Until the guy behind me, who witnessed the whole thing and had a huge smile on his face, found it for me in the gutter.

Yeah. It's good to be me!

Turning the Tables

My husband kept getting calls at his office from an unknown, out-of-state phone number. He never answered, but the calls persisted.

So, he googled the phone number and found out it was a time-share business that was notorious for harrassing people trying to sell them a timeshare. The next time they called, he answered and the conversation went something like this:

Rob (in a thick, Italian New Yorker accent): "Joe's Time Shares. How may I be of service to you?"

Telemarketer: (explains what she's selling...time shares in Orlando)

Rob: "Hey! It looks like we're in competing businesses! I've got some time shares in Orlando, too!"

Telemarketer: "Yes, how about that? Anyway....(she goes on trying to sell him one)"

Rob: "No, I don't have a need for anymore time shares, but how 'bout you? Would you like a time share? We've got some really nice ones."

Telemarketer: "Well...I don't really have the money...."

He then has HER on the defensive, making excuses and wanting to hang up. Typing the story SO does not do it justice, because his accent is hilarious!

And yes, I used to be a telemarketer, but I still think they're annoying. :)

Depends

Note to self: Make sure you pee BEFORE you go running. You're not young anymore, you know! End note.

My daughter and I went running last night and I *almost* put on a panty liner. Any woman reading this that has more than one child will probably know what I'm talking about. The dreaded bladder control problem that comes about when you a)run b)laugh c)jump d)do just about anything else.

Well, I didn't put one on, and I swear to you, no less than five minutes into our run, she makes me burst out laughing and all of a sudden the scene looks like this:

Me: Laughing hard.

Amanda: Laughing hard.

Me: I stop laughing. Eyes wide in shock. "Oh, crap!"

Amanda: "What?"

Me: "Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!"

Amanda: "What?!"

Me: "I just totally peed myself. Really bad."

I mean, it wasn't THAT bad. But it was more than just a little leak. And I had no protection on. So for the rest of the run, I keep looking behind me and in front of me to see if anyone is around, and then I bend my head down like an ostrich and look between my legs to see if the wet spot is showing.

Oh, it was showing! I show Amanda my crotch. "What am I going to do?! Oh my gosh!!"

Amanda: "Oh man. That IS bad. But you can't see it if you're just looking at you regularly. You'd have to bend down to see it. And maybe people will think it's sweat if they do see it."

At this point, I feel like an 80-year-old woman and have visions of me wearing Depends for my future runs. Geez!

And for the rest of the run, every time she made me laugh, I had to do the "hold-it-in-with-your-hand" maneuver, again making sure no one was around. But that only pushed my shorts up against the wet spot, making it spread. I am such a loser!

As old as I felt, Amanda and I always act like a couple of...well, teenagers, when we're together. Only she really is a teenager and I'm not even close.

We started talking about how cool it would be to be on a reality show and have cameras follow us around, because we think we are so incredibly hilarious, and surely the world would agree.

"Pretend you have a camera on you now," she says.

So we do. And all of our jokes suddenly sound really lame.

"No," we agree. "If we had a camera on us, we'd be too nervous to be funny."

Then the discussion leads to celebrities and papparazzi.

"Can you imagine if you had cameras following you all the time like that?" Amanda asks.

Then she starts to do the most hilarious impression of a papparazz(what's the singular spelling for that? "o"? "a"?).

You probably had to be there and I so can't do it justice but I'll try....she gets this serious look on her face and uses her hands as the camera lens. She's running along side of me.

"Could you please stop?" I say, all exasperated, doing my best celebrity impression. "I'm just trying to have a private run here!"

Then she starts running right in front of me, her "hand camera" directly in my face. And then I burst out laughing again. And I pee again, too. UGH!

Speaking of reality shows, it was like a freakin' Discovery Channel show while we ran. Here's a list of all the animals we saw:

~A mother deer and her two baby deer.

~Lots of rabbits, and two baby bunnies that we walked right up to.

~Some sort of animal that looked like a rabbit, but didn't have any ears. Couldn't identify that one!

~Bats

~A snail with its shell on its back.

~A baby toad that hopped in front of us and scared me to death (but I didn't pee!)

I got a picture of the baby bunny and the snail with my camera phone. Now I have to figure out how to get it from my phone to here!

Oh, and on the way home, we were so hot and dying and our neighbor on the corner (who no one knows or talks to) had their automatic sprinklers on. The spray was reaching onto the sidewalk, but you had to wait for the sprinkler to rotate all the way around.

So Amanda and I are trying to get sprayed. There was a really low one and we're grabbing at the water spray and getting like nothing on us, laughing our butts off. It's dark out at this point, by the way.

Then, the big spray comes around and smacks Amanda in the face and I run right behind her and get a good spray on my back.

Suddenly, the neighbors open their back door, give us a dirty look and turn off their sprinklers!!!! ROFLMAO!!!

I mean, come on, people! We were on the sidewalk, not your yard, for Heaven's sake! Were we going to "use up" some of your precious water by standing in it for a second. People can be so kooky!

Okay, I'm off to have coffee with my friend who forgot we were supposed to meet today, but thankfully is going to go anyhow (I SO did not want to get my butt out of bed for nothing early this morning!).

Hopefully I won't pee while I'm there. :)

Flower Farm

My friend from waaay back (middle school) came over yesterday with her little boy and we went to a pick-your-own-flower farm nearby. It is BEAUTIFUL there.

It's set in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains with beautiful, lush valleys and hills all around you. Gorgeous.

As soon as we got there, we were greeted by that adorable little doggie in the photo with Natalie. She came running up to our vans as soon as we pulled into the driveway, so excited that people were there.

When we got out of our vans, she was so happy, wagging her tail and rolling over for us, then went running to the barn entrance to escort us. I wanted to bring her home along with my flowers!

She's the size of a puppy but is a full grown, miniature Jack Russel Terrier. I so want a lapdog like that, all small and cuddly. She followed us around as we went flower picking and the owner said she just runs through the fields all day, or goes swimming in the pond (but she won't swim in their pool!)

Luckily, the owner told us AFTER we were done that the dog always brings back snakes and even snapping turtles to the house to eat. I didn't like the idea that those creatures might be out there among us!

She also came back with a groundhog twice her size. Too funny.

There were also two very fat pigs that were so ugly they were adorable. They were snorting and almost mooing at us. The kids loved it!

For $6, you get to fill a big jar to make a bouquet. Natalie made one and I made one. The bouquets spilled over in my van on the way home, though, and my van now smells like mildew. Plus, there are bugs and spiders STILL crawling around in my van (I had both a bug and spider on my skirt while driving today) that came off of the flowers.

When we got the flowers home, Natalie and I had so many we were able to divide them into three vases. They really brighten up the house!

I am so going back there each month when new flowers are in bloom. It's the perfect place to hang out with other moms.

Happy Fourth of July!

My Artwork

First off, let me ask how this "not responding to comments" is working for you all. I am loving not having the pressure to respond. It was taking up so much of my time. Now, I'm planning on just devoting time to posting, reading comments, and then blog surfing when I can.

BUT, part of me feels really weird reading all of the funny, kind, and thoughtful things you all have written and not writing something back. Do I come off as snobbish to you all by not responding? Let me know. Thanks!

(Also, to answer some of your questions, Natalie had no idea the prize said "Cockchafer" and even if she did, she's only 5 and it would go right over her head, thank God. It's a cheap styrofoam glider that you piece together to make the "cockchafer.")

On another note, here are the paintings I did for Natalie's room (the photos are a little blurry...I SO need a good digital camera).

I just took regular art canvas from Wal-Mart, some pretty ribbon and voila! I'll post more photos of the whole room so you can get more of a feel for the look of it, but for now, these are the close-ups of the paintings, plus her light switchplate that I painted.

I'm taking orders if anyone wants one personalized for their kids. :) (I'm only half-kidding on that!)

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Natalie got this out of the prize box at the library today. It's a glider and I think it's a beetle. See if you can figure out what is oh so very wrong with this prize. :)

Two Words You Should Never Use at a Funeral

Those two words are "death" and "kill." But leave it to me to find a way to work those two words into two different sentences.

The Setting: My friend's husband's funeral (he was in his early 30's. He died from cancer....this was years ago.)

The Scene: Receiving line with my friend and all of her close relatives in line.

The Humiliation:

My friend to me: (I'll change her daughter's name here for their privacy) "Kelly just adores Amanda (my daughter)."

Me: "Oh, the feeeling is mutual! Amanda loves Kelly to death!" (in my head I'm shouting at myself "WTF was that?!!!!!!!!")

My friend: "We'll have to have her over for a sleepover one night."

Me: "Amanda would KILL to be able to sleep over with Kelly!"

I walk away with an oft repeated refrain to myself playing in my head: "I am such a loser."

Britney Spears Does Demi Moore

Denise Richards Uses Semantics to Excuse Her Poor Choices

First, let me give you a moment to recover from the horror of what you see in the photo above. What was she thinking?!!!

Okay, so what does Denise Richards have to say to those who criticize her for dating her best-friend's husband?

"You know, she wasn't my best friend. She was a close friend in the last couple of years"

Ooooooh! Okay! HUGE difference there, Denise. Thanks for clearing that up!

Star Jones Reynolds Calls Barbara Walters a "Hypocrite"

Oh, The View Feud rages on, and it just gets juicier and juicier. Now comes this story from People reporting that Star called Barbara a hypocrite.

Did you ever see Kathy Griffin's stand-up show "Allegedly"? She jokes about her experience on The View and how Barbara Walters treated her (like shit). So I tend to side with Star on this one. I don't see what she did wrong.

However, I did find this statement hilarious:

"I thought the audience deserved to have their Star tell them what the deal is."

Their Star?!!! Okay, that's just crazy. I have never watched the view and thought of Star Jones Reynolds as "my star."

But I still think Barbara is in the wrong here and is showing her true, arrogant colors.

True or False

FlipFlopMomma tagged me on this, so here goes!

True or False:

I am a cuddler: True. What woman isn't?

I am a morning person: Oh my gosh, so VERY false!

I am a perfectionist: False.

I am an only child: False. I have one older half-brother by my father that was given up for adoption. I met him for the first time years ago. I have a half-sister and half-brother by my mother that are 15 and 16 and I consider them full-blooded siblings and love them to death! (I sound like I could be on Jerry Springer, don't I?)

I am currently in my pajamas: False. I got lucky on this one because a lot of days I still am!

I am addicted to my blog: Hmmm....maybe. Can you take a break if you're addicted? Then again, I am posting, just not responding to comments or visiting blogs (well, except today I tried to get some visits in)...okay, maybe I'm not taking a real break so I guess the answer to this would be "true!"

I am shy around people at first: True, but you wouldn't know it because I hide it well.

I bite my nails: False.

I can be paranoid at times: True

I currently regret something I've said: Wow. I can't believe I can say false to this!! False! Normally, it would be true because I'm always saying stupid stuff.

When I get mad I curse frequently: Very true!

I Like someone: Like? Define like. If it's the normal definition, who in the world would ever answer false to that?

I enjoy country music: Sometimes, but not often.

I enjoy jazz music: False

I enjoy smoothies: True! I was just about to make one now!

I enjoy talking on the phone: False, false, false! I hate the phone!

I have a lot to learn: False. No, I'm totally kidding. Who doesn't?

I have a pet: False. I have two pets. A bunny and a doggie.

I have a secret I'm ashamed to reveal: True. Not elaborating on that one any further!

I have all my grandparents: False. But I still have the one that means the most to me...my maternal grandma. I don't know what I'd do without her.

I have been called smart: True, of course. :)

I get higher than c's in school: Well, I'm not in school anymore, but when I was, I got higher than c's when I "applied myself" which wasn't often. I was more interested in the social scene than in academics, unfortunately.

I have broken a bone: False.

I have caller ID on my phone: True.

I have bathed/showered with someone: True.

I have changed a diaper: True, only about eighty million times!

I have changed over the past year: True.

I have done something illegal: True.

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: True.

I have had surgery: Ha! True, only about eighty million times!

I have killed another person: True. (LOL!! Just wanted to see if you were paying attention! Of course it's false!)

I have had my haircut in the last week: False.

I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't: True...okay, repeat after me...only about eighty million times!!

The View Feud - Star Jones Reynolds vs. Barbara Walters

ABC to Star Jones Reynolds: "Get your lawyer ass out of here NOW and don't come back!"

Well, not in those words exactly, but that's what they meant!

After Star announced on Tuesday's edition of The View that she would be leaving the show in July, the network got pissed and told her not to come back.

And this is what Star has told People magazine exclusively:

"What you don't know is that my contract was not renewed for the tenth season. I feel like I was fired." She adds that she got the news just days before reports surfaced that Rosie O'Donnell – one of her most vocal critics – would be joining The View in the fall.

Star didn't show up for today's edition of The View. And now, Barbara Walters is saying she felt betrayed by Star's comments.

Take a look at this quote from Walters:

Walters's on-air statement echoed what she told PEOPLE Tuesday: "Bill Geddie (The View's coexecutive producer) and I said to her, 'Handle this any way you want. You can say anything about a new job, you can say anything about a new road. Whatever you say, we'll back you up. We will never say that your contract was not renewed.'"

Wasn't that so nice of them? Gee, they gave her all the room in the world to lie for them and pretend that Walters and Geddie were innocent and didn't fire Star. How could she "betray" them and tell everyone the truth about why she was leaving and make Walters and Geddie look bad?!!! What about her "dignity?"

Geez. With that kind of attitude, I say Star is much better without them!

Oh No They Di-int!

They stole my title!. Those bastards! Who does Daryl Hannah think she is? ME?! :)

My Scariest Road Rage Experience

I just posted this in my comments section, but wanted to make it into it's own post. McKay was saying how men so often intimidate women on the road, and I totally agree. Every time something bad has happened to me on the road, it's been by a man.

Just yesterday, this car started coming into my lane and I had to swerve on the shoulder and lay on my horn. The car swerved back, and I got back into my lane and made eye contact with the driver.

It was a woman and she was so nice and so sweet about it. She kept saying, "Sorry!" and making hand gestures like she was so embarrassed and sorry about it. I bet if she had a penis she would've shaken her head at me, lol.

Anyway, here's my scariest road rage experience:

My scariest experience was when I was driving home with Amanda in her car seat when she was a baby.

I was in the left lane, and the right lane ended at a certain point. I was right at the point that it ends, and this car came flying up out of nowhere in the right lane and started trying to move into my lane with me in it.

I lay on my horn, and he kept coming. I moved to the left, out of his way, but that was into oncoming traffic, so I had to move back into the lane and hit his car.

It scared me so bad, and I drove home so shaken up. Then, I realized, the whacko was following me home.

He followed me to the apartment complex we lived in, and of course, on that day, my husband was late from work and I didn't see his car in the parking lot. So I kept going.

At that point, I was about ready to throw up all over my self. Seriously. He was still following me.

My windows were down, and as I drove to the nearest police station, I got a red light. I started rolling up my windows and I saw him walking to my car.

He started yelling at me, telling me he wanted my license and insurance information. I signaled for him to follow me.

I got to the police station and there was an officer outside washing his car. I ran out of my car and just burst into tears and told him this man had been terrorizing me.

And get this, the guy didn't even lie. He ADMITTED what he did and acted like he was in the right!!!!! The officer asked me if I wanted to get HIS license and information and file a complaint.

I was so scared of the man that I said no and that I wanted him to just leave me alone. I called my husband from the station and he came and met me there.

My biological dad, being the deviant that he is, was able to find out all of this guy's information based on his license plate for me. So we at least knew where he lived and how to find him if he bothered me again. Which he didn't, fortunately. I saw him a few times on the road after that, since I drove right by where he lived every day and I would get scared to death every time I saw him. It was terrifying!

Panty Sale?

I was flipping through the newspaper and saw this ad:



Classic Leno material. I am so sending this in to him.

Doggie Bed

Copper has commandeered our chair in the corner of our family room, so I laid an old sleeping bag on the chair to help protect it.

One day, the ottoman was pulled out a little bit from the chair, and, because Copper's so old, she couldn't get up into her chair anymore. This is how we found her:



I thought, "This is perfect! She'll just sleep on the ottoman from now on and our chair won't be ruined by dog hairs."

Well, one night, she flipped completely upside down and backwards off of the ottoman. My poor doggie. So the ottoman is now pushed back up against the chair where Copper now safely sleeps once again.

Poof!

This video is SO hilarious!! I promise there are no tricks or scary heart attack-inducing moments! This is definitely worth a click:

Poof!

Note: I'll be gone all day today, but will try to get to your comments tonight or tomorrow. Have a great weekend!

Tuesday Night Book Club

So who watched last night's premiere episode of Tuesday Night Book Club? And who else is in love with the show like I am?

Oh my gosh, the show is Heaven. I don't care if some are criticizing it for being a copy of "Desperate Housewives."

I LOVE Desperate Housewives and to be able to peek into the lives of real Desperate Housewives is fascinating (believe it or not, I once thought of becoming a psychologist, just because I love to study and analyze human behavior....this show is perfect for that!)

My favorite person, and the one I relate to most, is Cris (though my husband doesn't have an addiction problem, of course). I love her devotion to her husband and children, her sunny personality, and her love of animals.

Kirin is my second favorite person. My heart breaks for her and her attempts to be attractive for her husband. I hope she realizes that the problem is HIM, not her, and that her self-esteem will no longer suffer from him constantly rebuffing her attempts to get close to him.

I like Tina's confidence, and I am fascinated to find out what is up with Jenn's relationship with her husband (I heard the word "swingers" in the previews of upcoming episodes).

Lynn is a whiny, bitchy newlywed and I feel sorry for her poor husband. If she keeps yapping at him like an angry little chiuaua, I don't see that marriage lasting very long.

Jamie is a spoiled, self-centered person who seems to only be concerned with sewing her wild oats, rather than honoring the commitment she made with her poor husband. Get over yourself already, Jamie.

The one thing I didn't like about Tina was her helping Jamie in her selfish pursuits. Rather than offering to "help her to leave," she ought to have given Jamie a wake-up call and tell her to redirect her restlessness into less destructive activities (something other than affairs or walking out on her husband).

Same goes for Sara, who also encouraged Jamie's unfaithfulness in a bar.

I did read that TNBC got the lowest ratings last night. I will be totally ticked if it gets pulled off the air. I am dying to see how the lives of these women play out!

You HAVE to do this

Click here and try your hand at this maze. Make sure you have your speakers on...it helps. Don't give up if you make it to the third maze. It will get very narrow, but you CAN do it. And if you make it, there's a reward, so you HAVE to do it! Let me know how far you get.

Celebrity Update- Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey, Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds, and Paris Hilton's Hit and Run

~Could two goofier people have hooked up? Jenny McCarthy is now dating......Jim Carrey. Read the details here.



~Get ready for some more really great, man-hating music from Alanis Morissette. She and Ryan Reynolds have officially split. (I was so happy that she'd finally found someone...oh well.)



~Paris Hilton has already been notorious for breaking seat belt laws. But now, she's been caught in a hit and run after shopping with her buddy Kim Kardashian.

Photo of Brangelina's Baby Shiloh

Thanks to Blue for the scoop on this one!

And the Winner Is......

Rank Pick Set Name Points
1 Kimi's Picks 942
2 Crazedmom 756
3 Dawn's picks 705
4 Stef's Picks 653
5 Synergy Stinks 625
6 mary 568
7 amanda's picks 563
8 Rob's Picks 251
9 group #380 WriteWingBlog 128
10 ali 65

KIMI!!! Congratulations!

Kimi got first place in The Apprentice Fantasy Game and wins a $10 Starbucks card! (Kimi, Dawn said there aren't any Starbucks near you all, so I hope you can find one to use it at!)

I forgot to make my picks last week, which pushed me down into third place.

And just so you know? Ali "Not a Quitter" is in last place because she had log-in problems with the game. Or so she says. ;) (totally teasing you, Ali!)

Congratulations, Kimi, and thanks to everyone who played!

Celebrity News Round-Up, June 5

Note: Blogger is whacked today, so some of the photos may or may not show up, depending on if the Blogger gods are smiling down on you today or not. I'm getting mostly frowns myself.



~American Idol-Chris Daughtry has now officially turned down Fuel's offer to front for the band.

TMZ is reporting that RCA Records has signed a deal with Katherine McPhee, is close to inking a solo deal with Chris Daughtry, and is in talks with Ace Young.

Elliot Yamin seems to be the odd man out.
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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie plan to sell photos of their new baby girl Shiloh for charity. The photo shoot by Getty Images has already taken place but the charity has yet to be named.



In other Brangelina news, the company ItsMyBinky.com has sent a $17,000 white gold and diamond studded pacifier to Baby Shiloh. Hopefully they'll sell it and give that money to charity.

Click here and scroll to the bottom of the article to see just how much $17,000 would provide for an African community. Unbelievable!
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~Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey are splitting up.
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~Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend Patrick McDermott was recently spotted by three different witnesses in Mexico.
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~Lindsay Lohan has apparently made peace with Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis after Hilton and Davis trashed Lohan in an immature, school-yard kind of way.

Lohan was invited to a bash by Paris on Saturday and the two worked out their differences during a long walk.

Previously, Lohan had reportedly made up with Davis and the two have been seen out and about together.

Lohan's a better person than me. I don't know if I could be going out and pal-ing around with a guy that said I had freckles coming out of my Va-Jay-Jay.

Cock Fight

So Simon Cowell didn't take too well to Prince's attitudue. I guess there just wasn't enough room at AI for two cocky guys.

Kevin Federline?

Courtesy of AliCat comes this photo of Kevin Federline:



Let's hope the photo shoot inspired him to keep the clean look.

3-year-old Basketball Pro

Click here to play the video. Amazing!

Is Anna Nicole Smith Pregnant? Who's Nick Lachey's New Lady? More Mischa Barton Nudity

Is Anna Nicole Smith pregnant? She finally reveals the answer....yes. (And what is up with her hair and face in that photo?!!)
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Despite rumors of a relationship with singer Natasha Bedingfield, it looks like Nick Lachey is getting close with stylist Kim Kardashian.

"They're sweet on each other," a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE. "It's the beginning stages of a relationship."
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Okay, first Mischa Barton is caught sitting with her legs up while dining outside, giving the public a viewing of her panties. (Didn't anyone ever teach her how to sit?)

Now, comes this picture:



Geez, Mischa. Why don't you just run around nude from now on?!

Candy

Remember those candy necklaces you used to wear as a kid? Well check this out:



Click here for details.

Birthday Goodies, Part II

I am feeling so beachy with my next purchases. Here is a long, shell necklace that everyone in my family hates but me:



Then, I bought this breezy, embroidered, skirt on sale for....ladies, make sure you're sitting down.....seven freaking dollars!!!! It had been marked down, and marked down on top of that, then marked down on top of that.

There's not a thing wrong with it, the style is adorable and it was a steal! Here's a close up of the embroidery:



And here's a far-away shot so you can get the full feel of the skirt, as well as a pic of my favorite new shoes....my wedgies. LOVE THEM!!



My final purchase is one I HIGHLY recommend to every woman out there, even though it's made for young girls. It's Lilu perfume and it's made by Pacific Sunwear (Pac Sun).



It's far better than any expensive parfume out there, including my second favorite scent Clinique Happy (which is next to the Lilu in the photo).

If you have a store near you, run out and by a bottle now! If you don't, find some online. I swear you will love it.

Everytime I wear it, I get compliments on it. I thought the store manager at Wal-Mart was going to start licking me or something with the way he went on and on about how good I smelled!

I also got a subscription to People magazine since I didn't have to spend my birthday money from my husband on a blog redesign, so I am one happy birthday girl!

Now I just need to cross off the big ticket items on my wish list:

1. Treadmill.

2. Quality digital camera.

3. Trip to Disney World.

4. A spa day.

It'll take quite a bit of birthday money to get those, but I'm determined to get them SOMEDAY!

My Birthday Goodies

Oh, how I LOVE birthdays!! I now present to you, a photo essay of how I spent all of my birthday money in one mall trip, complete with a fashion show by moi!



I am almost all out of my current Yankee Candle (Island Mango or something like that). I wanted to buy a big candle with Storm Warning scent (I think that was the name of it) but they didn't have it at the store.

So rather than buy a big candle of a scent I might not like, I bought a bunch of tarts to try out. The one burning in the tart burner in the photo is French Vanilla and it's REALLY good. That one might be a winner.

I also got Sweet Strawberry, Splash of Rain, Ocean Water, Buttercream and Chocolate Cappuccino. I'll let you know which scent wins out.




These are the adorable black heels I bought, only to realize when I got home that they gave me two different sizes, so I have to go back and get the right size. Also, that close-up makes me look like my leg is the size of an elephant and I swear it's not! :)

I decided, after not wearing earrings for years, to go ahead and buy some. The problem is, with long hair, you can never really see them. Here they are with me in a regular pose:



So it won't show well unless I pull my hair back on one side like this:



or do a weird head-tilt pose, like this:



and even then you can't really see them.

Okay, since this is a lot of photos for Blogger to handle all at once, I'll show off my new skirt, necklace and adorable wedge heels in a separate post!