What's Wrong With This Picture?

Natalie got this out of the prize box at the library today. It's a glider and I think it's a beetle. See if you can figure out what is oh so very wrong with this prize. :)

Two Words You Should Never Use at a Funeral

Those two words are "death" and "kill." But leave it to me to find a way to work those two words into two different sentences.

The Setting: My friend's husband's funeral (he was in his early 30's. He died from cancer....this was years ago.)

The Scene: Receiving line with my friend and all of her close relatives in line.

The Humiliation:

My friend to me: (I'll change her daughter's name here for their privacy) "Kelly just adores Amanda (my daughter)."

Me: "Oh, the feeeling is mutual! Amanda loves Kelly to death!" (in my head I'm shouting at myself "WTF was that?!!!!!!!!")

My friend: "We'll have to have her over for a sleepover one night."

Me: "Amanda would KILL to be able to sleep over with Kelly!"

I walk away with an oft repeated refrain to myself playing in my head: "I am such a loser."

Britney Spears Does Demi Moore

Denise Richards Uses Semantics to Excuse Her Poor Choices

First, let me give you a moment to recover from the horror of what you see in the photo above. What was she thinking?!!!

Okay, so what does Denise Richards have to say to those who criticize her for dating her best-friend's husband?

"You know, she wasn't my best friend. She was a close friend in the last couple of years"

Ooooooh! Okay! HUGE difference there, Denise. Thanks for clearing that up!

Star Jones Reynolds Calls Barbara Walters a "Hypocrite"

Oh, The View Feud rages on, and it just gets juicier and juicier. Now comes this story from People reporting that Star called Barbara a hypocrite.

Did you ever see Kathy Griffin's stand-up show "Allegedly"? She jokes about her experience on The View and how Barbara Walters treated her (like shit). So I tend to side with Star on this one. I don't see what she did wrong.

However, I did find this statement hilarious:

"I thought the audience deserved to have their Star tell them what the deal is."

Their Star?!!! Okay, that's just crazy. I have never watched the view and thought of Star Jones Reynolds as "my star."

But I still think Barbara is in the wrong here and is showing her true, arrogant colors.

True or False

FlipFlopMomma tagged me on this, so here goes!

True or False:

I am a cuddler: True. What woman isn't?

I am a morning person: Oh my gosh, so VERY false!

I am a perfectionist: False.

I am an only child: False. I have one older half-brother by my father that was given up for adoption. I met him for the first time years ago. I have a half-sister and half-brother by my mother that are 15 and 16 and I consider them full-blooded siblings and love them to death! (I sound like I could be on Jerry Springer, don't I?)

I am currently in my pajamas: False. I got lucky on this one because a lot of days I still am!

I am addicted to my blog: Hmmm....maybe. Can you take a break if you're addicted? Then again, I am posting, just not responding to comments or visiting blogs (well, except today I tried to get some visits in)...okay, maybe I'm not taking a real break so I guess the answer to this would be "true!"

I am shy around people at first: True, but you wouldn't know it because I hide it well.

I bite my nails: False.

I can be paranoid at times: True

I currently regret something I've said: Wow. I can't believe I can say false to this!! False! Normally, it would be true because I'm always saying stupid stuff.

When I get mad I curse frequently: Very true!

I Like someone: Like? Define like. If it's the normal definition, who in the world would ever answer false to that?

I enjoy country music: Sometimes, but not often.

I enjoy jazz music: False

I enjoy smoothies: True! I was just about to make one now!

I enjoy talking on the phone: False, false, false! I hate the phone!

I have a lot to learn: False. No, I'm totally kidding. Who doesn't?

I have a pet: False. I have two pets. A bunny and a doggie.

I have a secret I'm ashamed to reveal: True. Not elaborating on that one any further!

I have all my grandparents: False. But I still have the one that means the most to me...my maternal grandma. I don't know what I'd do without her.

I have been called smart: True, of course. :)

I get higher than c's in school: Well, I'm not in school anymore, but when I was, I got higher than c's when I "applied myself" which wasn't often. I was more interested in the social scene than in academics, unfortunately.

I have broken a bone: False.

I have caller ID on my phone: True.

I have bathed/showered with someone: True.

I have changed a diaper: True, only about eighty million times!

I have changed over the past year: True.

I have done something illegal: True.

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: True.

I have had surgery: Ha! True, only about eighty million times!

I have killed another person: True. (LOL!! Just wanted to see if you were paying attention! Of course it's false!)

I have had my haircut in the last week: False.

I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't: True...okay, repeat after me...only about eighty million times!!

The View Feud - Star Jones Reynolds vs. Barbara Walters

ABC to Star Jones Reynolds: "Get your lawyer ass out of here NOW and don't come back!"

Well, not in those words exactly, but that's what they meant!

After Star announced on Tuesday's edition of The View that she would be leaving the show in July, the network got pissed and told her not to come back.

And this is what Star has told People magazine exclusively:

"What you don't know is that my contract was not renewed for the tenth season. I feel like I was fired." She adds that she got the news just days before reports surfaced that Rosie O'Donnell – one of her most vocal critics – would be joining The View in the fall.

Star didn't show up for today's edition of The View. And now, Barbara Walters is saying she felt betrayed by Star's comments.

Take a look at this quote from Walters:

Walters's on-air statement echoed what she told PEOPLE Tuesday: "Bill Geddie (The View's coexecutive producer) and I said to her, 'Handle this any way you want. You can say anything about a new job, you can say anything about a new road. Whatever you say, we'll back you up. We will never say that your contract was not renewed.'"

Wasn't that so nice of them? Gee, they gave her all the room in the world to lie for them and pretend that Walters and Geddie were innocent and didn't fire Star. How could she "betray" them and tell everyone the truth about why she was leaving and make Walters and Geddie look bad?!!! What about her "dignity?"

Geez. With that kind of attitude, I say Star is much better without them!

Oh No They Di-int!

They stole my title!. Those bastards! Who does Daryl Hannah think she is? ME?! :)

My Scariest Road Rage Experience

I just posted this in my comments section, but wanted to make it into it's own post. McKay was saying how men so often intimidate women on the road, and I totally agree. Every time something bad has happened to me on the road, it's been by a man.

Just yesterday, this car started coming into my lane and I had to swerve on the shoulder and lay on my horn. The car swerved back, and I got back into my lane and made eye contact with the driver.

It was a woman and she was so nice and so sweet about it. She kept saying, "Sorry!" and making hand gestures like she was so embarrassed and sorry about it. I bet if she had a penis she would've shaken her head at me, lol.

Anyway, here's my scariest road rage experience:

My scariest experience was when I was driving home with Amanda in her car seat when she was a baby.

I was in the left lane, and the right lane ended at a certain point. I was right at the point that it ends, and this car came flying up out of nowhere in the right lane and started trying to move into my lane with me in it.

I lay on my horn, and he kept coming. I moved to the left, out of his way, but that was into oncoming traffic, so I had to move back into the lane and hit his car.

It scared me so bad, and I drove home so shaken up. Then, I realized, the whacko was following me home.

He followed me to the apartment complex we lived in, and of course, on that day, my husband was late from work and I didn't see his car in the parking lot. So I kept going.

At that point, I was about ready to throw up all over my self. Seriously. He was still following me.

My windows were down, and as I drove to the nearest police station, I got a red light. I started rolling up my windows and I saw him walking to my car.

He started yelling at me, telling me he wanted my license and insurance information. I signaled for him to follow me.

I got to the police station and there was an officer outside washing his car. I ran out of my car and just burst into tears and told him this man had been terrorizing me.

And get this, the guy didn't even lie. He ADMITTED what he did and acted like he was in the right!!!!! The officer asked me if I wanted to get HIS license and information and file a complaint.

I was so scared of the man that I said no and that I wanted him to just leave me alone. I called my husband from the station and he came and met me there.

My biological dad, being the deviant that he is, was able to find out all of this guy's information based on his license plate for me. So we at least knew where he lived and how to find him if he bothered me again. Which he didn't, fortunately. I saw him a few times on the road after that, since I drove right by where he lived every day and I would get scared to death every time I saw him. It was terrifying!

Panty Sale?

I was flipping through the newspaper and saw this ad:



Classic Leno material. I am so sending this in to him.

Doggie Bed

Copper has commandeered our chair in the corner of our family room, so I laid an old sleeping bag on the chair to help protect it.

One day, the ottoman was pulled out a little bit from the chair, and, because Copper's so old, she couldn't get up into her chair anymore. This is how we found her:



I thought, "This is perfect! She'll just sleep on the ottoman from now on and our chair won't be ruined by dog hairs."

Well, one night, she flipped completely upside down and backwards off of the ottoman. My poor doggie. So the ottoman is now pushed back up against the chair where Copper now safely sleeps once again.

Poof!

This video is SO hilarious!! I promise there are no tricks or scary heart attack-inducing moments! This is definitely worth a click:

Poof!

Note: I'll be gone all day today, but will try to get to your comments tonight or tomorrow. Have a great weekend!

Tuesday Night Book Club

So who watched last night's premiere episode of Tuesday Night Book Club? And who else is in love with the show like I am?

Oh my gosh, the show is Heaven. I don't care if some are criticizing it for being a copy of "Desperate Housewives."

I LOVE Desperate Housewives and to be able to peek into the lives of real Desperate Housewives is fascinating (believe it or not, I once thought of becoming a psychologist, just because I love to study and analyze human behavior....this show is perfect for that!)

My favorite person, and the one I relate to most, is Cris (though my husband doesn't have an addiction problem, of course). I love her devotion to her husband and children, her sunny personality, and her love of animals.

Kirin is my second favorite person. My heart breaks for her and her attempts to be attractive for her husband. I hope she realizes that the problem is HIM, not her, and that her self-esteem will no longer suffer from him constantly rebuffing her attempts to get close to him.

I like Tina's confidence, and I am fascinated to find out what is up with Jenn's relationship with her husband (I heard the word "swingers" in the previews of upcoming episodes).

Lynn is a whiny, bitchy newlywed and I feel sorry for her poor husband. If she keeps yapping at him like an angry little chiuaua, I don't see that marriage lasting very long.

Jamie is a spoiled, self-centered person who seems to only be concerned with sewing her wild oats, rather than honoring the commitment she made with her poor husband. Get over yourself already, Jamie.

The one thing I didn't like about Tina was her helping Jamie in her selfish pursuits. Rather than offering to "help her to leave," she ought to have given Jamie a wake-up call and tell her to redirect her restlessness into less destructive activities (something other than affairs or walking out on her husband).

Same goes for Sara, who also encouraged Jamie's unfaithfulness in a bar.

I did read that TNBC got the lowest ratings last night. I will be totally ticked if it gets pulled off the air. I am dying to see how the lives of these women play out!

You HAVE to do this

Click here and try your hand at this maze. Make sure you have your speakers on...it helps. Don't give up if you make it to the third maze. It will get very narrow, but you CAN do it. And if you make it, there's a reward, so you HAVE to do it! Let me know how far you get.

Celebrity Update- Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey, Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds, and Paris Hilton's Hit and Run

~Could two goofier people have hooked up? Jenny McCarthy is now dating......Jim Carrey. Read the details here.



~Get ready for some more really great, man-hating music from Alanis Morissette. She and Ryan Reynolds have officially split. (I was so happy that she'd finally found someone...oh well.)



~Paris Hilton has already been notorious for breaking seat belt laws. But now, she's been caught in a hit and run after shopping with her buddy Kim Kardashian.

Photo of Brangelina's Baby Shiloh

Thanks to Blue for the scoop on this one!

And the Winner Is......

Rank Pick Set Name Points
1 Kimi's Picks 942
2 Crazedmom 756
3 Dawn's picks 705
4 Stef's Picks 653
5 Synergy Stinks 625
6 mary 568
7 amanda's picks 563
8 Rob's Picks 251
9 group #380 WriteWingBlog 128
10 ali 65

KIMI!!! Congratulations!

Kimi got first place in The Apprentice Fantasy Game and wins a $10 Starbucks card! (Kimi, Dawn said there aren't any Starbucks near you all, so I hope you can find one to use it at!)

I forgot to make my picks last week, which pushed me down into third place.

And just so you know? Ali "Not a Quitter" is in last place because she had log-in problems with the game. Or so she says. ;) (totally teasing you, Ali!)

Congratulations, Kimi, and thanks to everyone who played!

Celebrity News Round-Up, June 5

Note: Blogger is whacked today, so some of the photos may or may not show up, depending on if the Blogger gods are smiling down on you today or not. I'm getting mostly frowns myself.



~American Idol-Chris Daughtry has now officially turned down Fuel's offer to front for the band.

TMZ is reporting that RCA Records has signed a deal with Katherine McPhee, is close to inking a solo deal with Chris Daughtry, and is in talks with Ace Young.

Elliot Yamin seems to be the odd man out.
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Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie plan to sell photos of their new baby girl Shiloh for charity. The photo shoot by Getty Images has already taken place but the charity has yet to be named.



In other Brangelina news, the company ItsMyBinky.com has sent a $17,000 white gold and diamond studded pacifier to Baby Shiloh. Hopefully they'll sell it and give that money to charity.

Click here and scroll to the bottom of the article to see just how much $17,000 would provide for an African community. Unbelievable!
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~Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey are splitting up.
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~Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend Patrick McDermott was recently spotted by three different witnesses in Mexico.
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~Lindsay Lohan has apparently made peace with Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis after Hilton and Davis trashed Lohan in an immature, school-yard kind of way.

Lohan was invited to a bash by Paris on Saturday and the two worked out their differences during a long walk.

Previously, Lohan had reportedly made up with Davis and the two have been seen out and about together.

Lohan's a better person than me. I don't know if I could be going out and pal-ing around with a guy that said I had freckles coming out of my Va-Jay-Jay.

Cock Fight

So Simon Cowell didn't take too well to Prince's attitudue. I guess there just wasn't enough room at AI for two cocky guys.

Kevin Federline?

Courtesy of AliCat comes this photo of Kevin Federline:



Let's hope the photo shoot inspired him to keep the clean look.

3-year-old Basketball Pro

Click here to play the video. Amazing!

Is Anna Nicole Smith Pregnant? Who's Nick Lachey's New Lady? More Mischa Barton Nudity

Is Anna Nicole Smith pregnant? She finally reveals the answer....yes. (And what is up with her hair and face in that photo?!!)
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Despite rumors of a relationship with singer Natasha Bedingfield, it looks like Nick Lachey is getting close with stylist Kim Kardashian.

"They're sweet on each other," a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE. "It's the beginning stages of a relationship."
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Okay, first Mischa Barton is caught sitting with her legs up while dining outside, giving the public a viewing of her panties. (Didn't anyone ever teach her how to sit?)

Now, comes this picture:



Geez, Mischa. Why don't you just run around nude from now on?!

Candy

Remember those candy necklaces you used to wear as a kid? Well check this out:



Click here for details.