Heaven = Starbucks Iced Soy Caramel Vanilla Macchiato

After my Starbucks lactose debacle, I took the advice of the kind Starbucks rep and tried both an Iced Soy Mocha and an Iced Soy Caramel Vanilla Macchiato (no whip, of course).

The Iced Soy Mocha was good, but oh my gosh....the Macchiato.....there simply are no words to describe it. I didn't even ask them to blend it for me, like the rep suggested. It was good just the way it was. "Good" is such an understatement.

Just imagine a hot, hot day, and getting this delicious, cool, venti drink. It even looks delicious....a mixture of brown latte and golden caramel, with the white vanilla and soy swirling in between.

And when you take a sip....oh my gosh!!!! (I have to stop using that phrase so much, but that's how I feel!) It's cold, coffee-ish, and vanilla-ish, and then you actually sip the caramel syrup through the straw and it just melts in your mouth.

If you haven't tried it, do it now!!!!

And don't forget to say hello to my renter Dutchy! She has a brand new, pretty template to look at.

My numbers aren't so good on this first rent campaign here. I have WAY more readers here than I do on my other blog, yet my rental stats are HUGE over there, and not so much here. Help a girl out and help me get those numbers up!! Thank you!!

John Cusack's Stalker Emily Leatherman on Being a "Victim"

Stalker, I mean victim, Emily Leatherman said she's not crazy. She's simply trying to get media attention after being drugged, raped and made a victim of sex trafficking.

Ooooooh. Okay. So that explains all of the love notes thrown over the fence of John Cusack's house. That explains why she said she'd harm herself if he didn't respond. She was simply trying to get the world's attention for the torture she underwent! Let's all breathe a sigh of relief now.

Watch the video of her explanation here.

I Broke Rule #1

Okay, it wasn't really a rule, per say. But, it was something I said I'd never say. And, well, I didn't really SAY it, I did it, so maybe I didn't really break anything.

Anyway.....Remember my list of 10 things I'd never say? Well, last week, I had to do the dreaded "go out in public without my make-up on."

But, it's even worse than that. Let me explain....

Rob was home waiting for the car place to let us know they were done working on the van so we could go get it together. I wanted to work out. He said he had to leave as soon as they called so he could get right back to work.

I took my chances and did a full-on step aerobic workout (it was Carribean Workout on FitTV...I LOVE that channel!)

As soon as it ended, and I mean the second it ended, he yells, "Let's go...it's ready!"(They'd called him on his cell and I didn't hear it)

So, I go out in my workout shorts and sweaty tank-top. So everything from the neck down probably looked good. BUT, my face was beet red. And my hair was pulled up with a hair clip thingie holding it up. I don't even look remotely good with my hair pulled up. I look hideous.

Picture Pamela Anderson's body (I know I'm flattering myself...but work with me here), with Kathy Griffin's face, only without make-up, with sweat pouring down, and her face the color of a sunburn (see...I can balance my egotistical side with a little self-deprication! But do know that I don't look THAT bad in reality, lol!)

Now here's the thing. Men must have a magical ability to separate the two body parts. Because when I was getting into the van, I got a bunch of cat-calls from the mechanics. I'm thinking "You've got to seriously be on something!" but then I realized they probably weren't looking at my face at all.

Which makes me wonder about all the cat-calls I've ever received in my life. Does it really mean I'm pretty? Or were they always mentally putting a bag over my head?

For my ego's sake, I'll let myself think it's the former.
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Note: Don't forget to visit my fine friend and renter Dutchy! Tell her Pamela Griffin sent you!

Blonde Moment #462....

in which I run to our local rec center from the parking lot in the rain with my sandals on, only to have one come flying off of the back of my foot, while I fall forward and magically stop myself from making a complete fool of myself by falling flat on my face.

Somehow, I managed to catch myself, but then I couldn't find my shoe. Until the guy behind me, who witnessed the whole thing and had a huge smile on his face, found it for me in the gutter.

Yeah. It's good to be me!

Turning the Tables

My husband kept getting calls at his office from an unknown, out-of-state phone number. He never answered, but the calls persisted.

So, he googled the phone number and found out it was a time-share business that was notorious for harrassing people trying to sell them a timeshare. The next time they called, he answered and the conversation went something like this:

Rob (in a thick, Italian New Yorker accent): "Joe's Time Shares. How may I be of service to you?"

Telemarketer: (explains what she's selling...time shares in Orlando)

Rob: "Hey! It looks like we're in competing businesses! I've got some time shares in Orlando, too!"

Telemarketer: "Yes, how about that? Anyway....(she goes on trying to sell him one)"

Rob: "No, I don't have a need for anymore time shares, but how 'bout you? Would you like a time share? We've got some really nice ones."

Telemarketer: "Well...I don't really have the money...."

He then has HER on the defensive, making excuses and wanting to hang up. Typing the story SO does not do it justice, because his accent is hilarious!

And yes, I used to be a telemarketer, but I still think they're annoying. :)

Depends

Note to self: Make sure you pee BEFORE you go running. You're not young anymore, you know! End note.

My daughter and I went running last night and I *almost* put on a panty liner. Any woman reading this that has more than one child will probably know what I'm talking about. The dreaded bladder control problem that comes about when you a)run b)laugh c)jump d)do just about anything else.

Well, I didn't put one on, and I swear to you, no less than five minutes into our run, she makes me burst out laughing and all of a sudden the scene looks like this:

Me: Laughing hard.

Amanda: Laughing hard.

Me: I stop laughing. Eyes wide in shock. "Oh, crap!"

Amanda: "What?"

Me: "Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!"

Amanda: "What?!"

Me: "I just totally peed myself. Really bad."

I mean, it wasn't THAT bad. But it was more than just a little leak. And I had no protection on. So for the rest of the run, I keep looking behind me and in front of me to see if anyone is around, and then I bend my head down like an ostrich and look between my legs to see if the wet spot is showing.

Oh, it was showing! I show Amanda my crotch. "What am I going to do?! Oh my gosh!!"

Amanda: "Oh man. That IS bad. But you can't see it if you're just looking at you regularly. You'd have to bend down to see it. And maybe people will think it's sweat if they do see it."

At this point, I feel like an 80-year-old woman and have visions of me wearing Depends for my future runs. Geez!

And for the rest of the run, every time she made me laugh, I had to do the "hold-it-in-with-your-hand" maneuver, again making sure no one was around. But that only pushed my shorts up against the wet spot, making it spread. I am such a loser!

As old as I felt, Amanda and I always act like a couple of...well, teenagers, when we're together. Only she really is a teenager and I'm not even close.

We started talking about how cool it would be to be on a reality show and have cameras follow us around, because we think we are so incredibly hilarious, and surely the world would agree.

"Pretend you have a camera on you now," she says.

So we do. And all of our jokes suddenly sound really lame.

"No," we agree. "If we had a camera on us, we'd be too nervous to be funny."

Then the discussion leads to celebrities and papparazzi.

"Can you imagine if you had cameras following you all the time like that?" Amanda asks.

Then she starts to do the most hilarious impression of a papparazz(what's the singular spelling for that? "o"? "a"?).

You probably had to be there and I so can't do it justice but I'll try....she gets this serious look on her face and uses her hands as the camera lens. She's running along side of me.

"Could you please stop?" I say, all exasperated, doing my best celebrity impression. "I'm just trying to have a private run here!"

Then she starts running right in front of me, her "hand camera" directly in my face. And then I burst out laughing again. And I pee again, too. UGH!

Speaking of reality shows, it was like a freakin' Discovery Channel show while we ran. Here's a list of all the animals we saw:

~A mother deer and her two baby deer.

~Lots of rabbits, and two baby bunnies that we walked right up to.

~Some sort of animal that looked like a rabbit, but didn't have any ears. Couldn't identify that one!

~Bats

~A snail with its shell on its back.

~A baby toad that hopped in front of us and scared me to death (but I didn't pee!)

I got a picture of the baby bunny and the snail with my camera phone. Now I have to figure out how to get it from my phone to here!

Oh, and on the way home, we were so hot and dying and our neighbor on the corner (who no one knows or talks to) had their automatic sprinklers on. The spray was reaching onto the sidewalk, but you had to wait for the sprinkler to rotate all the way around.

So Amanda and I are trying to get sprayed. There was a really low one and we're grabbing at the water spray and getting like nothing on us, laughing our butts off. It's dark out at this point, by the way.

Then, the big spray comes around and smacks Amanda in the face and I run right behind her and get a good spray on my back.

Suddenly, the neighbors open their back door, give us a dirty look and turn off their sprinklers!!!! ROFLMAO!!!

I mean, come on, people! We were on the sidewalk, not your yard, for Heaven's sake! Were we going to "use up" some of your precious water by standing in it for a second. People can be so kooky!

Okay, I'm off to have coffee with my friend who forgot we were supposed to meet today, but thankfully is going to go anyhow (I SO did not want to get my butt out of bed for nothing early this morning!).

Hopefully I won't pee while I'm there. :)

Flower Farm

My friend from waaay back (middle school) came over yesterday with her little boy and we went to a pick-your-own-flower farm nearby. It is BEAUTIFUL there.

It's set in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains with beautiful, lush valleys and hills all around you. Gorgeous.

As soon as we got there, we were greeted by that adorable little doggie in the photo with Natalie. She came running up to our vans as soon as we pulled into the driveway, so excited that people were there.

When we got out of our vans, she was so happy, wagging her tail and rolling over for us, then went running to the barn entrance to escort us. I wanted to bring her home along with my flowers!

She's the size of a puppy but is a full grown, miniature Jack Russel Terrier. I so want a lapdog like that, all small and cuddly. She followed us around as we went flower picking and the owner said she just runs through the fields all day, or goes swimming in the pond (but she won't swim in their pool!)

Luckily, the owner told us AFTER we were done that the dog always brings back snakes and even snapping turtles to the house to eat. I didn't like the idea that those creatures might be out there among us!

She also came back with a groundhog twice her size. Too funny.

There were also two very fat pigs that were so ugly they were adorable. They were snorting and almost mooing at us. The kids loved it!

For $6, you get to fill a big jar to make a bouquet. Natalie made one and I made one. The bouquets spilled over in my van on the way home, though, and my van now smells like mildew. Plus, there are bugs and spiders STILL crawling around in my van (I had both a bug and spider on my skirt while driving today) that came off of the flowers.

When we got the flowers home, Natalie and I had so many we were able to divide them into three vases. They really brighten up the house!

I am so going back there each month when new flowers are in bloom. It's the perfect place to hang out with other moms.

Happy Fourth of July!

My Artwork

First off, let me ask how this "not responding to comments" is working for you all. I am loving not having the pressure to respond. It was taking up so much of my time. Now, I'm planning on just devoting time to posting, reading comments, and then blog surfing when I can.

BUT, part of me feels really weird reading all of the funny, kind, and thoughtful things you all have written and not writing something back. Do I come off as snobbish to you all by not responding? Let me know. Thanks!

(Also, to answer some of your questions, Natalie had no idea the prize said "Cockchafer" and even if she did, she's only 5 and it would go right over her head, thank God. It's a cheap styrofoam glider that you piece together to make the "cockchafer.")

On another note, here are the paintings I did for Natalie's room (the photos are a little blurry...I SO need a good digital camera).

I just took regular art canvas from Wal-Mart, some pretty ribbon and voila! I'll post more photos of the whole room so you can get more of a feel for the look of it, but for now, these are the close-ups of the paintings, plus her light switchplate that I painted.

I'm taking orders if anyone wants one personalized for their kids. :) (I'm only half-kidding on that!)