Remembering Copper

Her last night with us.


A smile and a wink, despite her pain. She was always smiling like that.


In our old house, when she was younger, Copper would flop down in the yard and sun. It was the cutest thing ever....she would be totally out.


The younger Copper, enjoying all the love from Amanda and her friends.


This came from the vet who put Copper down. She was wonderful and so compassionate. I didn't expect to get Copper's pawprints, so this was a nice surprise (although it made me cry again). We're still waiting to receive her ashes.


Close up of Copper's pawprints. She had such cute, little, puppy paws.

Again, thank you to everyone who has shown me such kindness and comfort. I wish I had the time and emotional energy to respond individually to each of you and I feel so guilty that I don't.

I promise to get back to my regular blogging soon and to visit each of you in return.

I tried to get out of the house on Monday in an attempt to escape from the sadness. But as soon as I got in the van, I remembered what happened the last time I was in it...that I had taken Copper to the hospital.

Call me crazy, but I actually pet the air in the space she had laid in, in between the two front seats, crying and telling her I love her.

I was waiting for another sign as I drove, in the form that I usually receive them.....music.

The first song had no meaning to me, but I felt compelled to leave it on. Then they announced the band....Toto. Toto was my parent's and sisters' dog who recently passed away and one of Copper's buddies.

I changed the station and heard, "I'm gonna run to you...." And I smiled and cried.

Next song was the new one, "Who Knew" by Pink and again, I just left it on not knowing what it was about. Then I heard:

"I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better"

and

"I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

So by the time I got to the post office, I was sobbing uncontrollably and thought I'd have to go back home. But I sat in the parking lot letting it all out for about ten minutes and then got myself together.

I headed to Home Depot next and had to pass the animal hospital and Petco. And lost it again.

There are just so many things that make me cry. Going up the stairs for the first time without her. I usually had to carry her up when I went to bed and I literally could not walk up the stairs that first night. I had to turn around, pace the hall crying for awhile, then use every ounce of strength I had to walk up without her.

Tonight was the first night I've had to cook dinner since we lost Copper. Usually, she is right under my feet when I cook, something that used to annoy me to no end. Tonight, I would've given anything to have her back there, begging for food and tripping me up.

But I smiled a big smile for her and said, "Copper, can you smell this dinner? I know you'd love this one, and I bet wherever you are right now you actually get to eat it!"

We're waiting for her ashes to be delivered to us. I don't know what I'll do when that day comes. Every time the doorbell rings (and it rings alot), I freeze and fear overcomes me, but so far it's always been someone else.

I've moved her blankie out of the corner of our bedroom, her bowls out of the kitchen, her sleeping bag out of her favorite chair. It was just too hard to look at those things, but now the house seems even more empty than before.

I sleep hugging her collar to my face at night and every time I hear her tags make a clinging sound, for a split second, it feels like she's there and then I remember all over again.

Right now, I seem to be stuck in do-over mode. I want to go back and do it all over again. I want to turn the van around and come back home and see if she could hang on for longer, even though I know that wouldn't be the right thing to do. I just want to take it back. I want to wake up and have it not be true.

I just want her back so bad. :(

I've Lost My Coppergirl

I knew it was coming. Yet I can't stop bawling as I type this. This morning at around 4:30 a.m., Amanda and I were at our beagle Copper's side as she was put to sleep.

It is so hard to have had her fate in my hands. To be the one to make this decision. I've been putting it off for so long, but the past couple of weeks, she was going downhill fast and I knew I wouldn't be able to wait much longer.

The vet said that our pets will hang on for us. I think she did that. She'd lost all bladder control and was bloated. Her organs were enlarged and she was having breathing problems.

But, as I contemplated whether or not to put her down, something strange happened. The past two days, she didn't have one accident. She slept up against my side of the bed, which was not her usual spot. She followed me around the house. She curled up next to the couch on the floor when I was sitting on the couch.

And tonight, as she became distressed with breathing, panting, shaking and anxiety, she looked up at me with eyes that said to me, "Please help me. I can't do this anymore."

Yet, even though I knew/know I was doing the right thing, I still feel so guilty. It's bittersweet though because at the vet, she lost all bodily control. She vomitted, defecated and urinated. She was shaking and panting uncontrollably. She was just so miserable.

So when they gave her the injection and she peacefully fell into my arms, I felt the strangest of emotions. Relief mixed with extreme grief. How can you feel both at the same time? I was so happy that she was at peace and not suffering, but I wanted her to get up again, wag her tail, and sit by my side.

The vet assured me I was doing the right thing. I do feel, logically, that I did. I feel like she is grateful that I let her go. That I did her a favor, not that I betrayed her.

But another part of me feels the opposite of all those emotions. It's just such a confusing mess of emotions. I can't believe she's gone.

I look at her empty chair, her empty bed, her dog bowls. I hear the clink of her collar as Amanda moves it around in her hands. It's just so.....empty. There's a void that is so deep.

Amanda didn't want to leave her. I told her she was going with us. "Just wait," I said. "We'll get a sign."



When I went out into the reception area, hanging on the wall was one of those tacky dog pictures. The ones where they're dressed up as humans as if they're a person.

It was a beagle. In full regalia. Happy. Head held high. It was my sign.

This poem below is for Copper. Please read it and pray, send good vibes, whatever you feel is appropriate. Anything to make sure she's crossed the rainbow bridge. Thank you.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Goodbye my sweet baby girl. I will love you forever and always.

Bruce Littlefield Latest Gig on The Today Show

Thanks to all of my readers who shared your ideas with Bruce Littlefield for his gig on The Today Show.

Click on the You Tube video below to see Bruce talk about "things Americans hoard."
And, it would be GREAT if you could comment, rate and favorite the video to help Bruce out.



You can also read another great review of his book Garage Sale America, over at Gather.com where a comment and rating would also be greatly appreciated!

And don't forget that another "Treasure Hunt" contest is in the works and will be posted here soon, so if you didn't win last time, you'll have another chance again...yay!

Now watch Bruce shine once again on The Today Show:


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One of my bestest blogging buddies, Cindy from Taste the World just became officially engaged!

Go see how her fiance proposed to her, but prepared to be jeaaalous! I love her and hate her all at the same time after seeing that, lol!

Name Your Tune Winners!

Oh my goshness! Can you believe how many comments are down there on the Name Your Tune Giveaway? Thank you to Shannon from rocks in my dryer for hosting such a fun event! It was like Christmas in July..weee!

I LOVE her idea and I think rumor has it that she may do this again in the fall. She's VERY brave because I know this was very hard work for her. It was hard for me just to manage my own little corner of this whole party! There were over 100 entries into the contest!

And that was nothing compared to some of the other contests that had 300 to 400 entries!

What? Oh, yeah! The winners. Like you all cared about anything else I had to say, lol. Okay...the winners for the Name Your Tune giveaway, for a personalized children's CD, are...

• Dawn from Coming to a Nursery Near You
  
• Kristie from Life With My X-Men

Congratulations winners! I will be emailing you to get your contact information. Enjoy the CDs and let us know how you like them!

Name Your Tune Giveaway

~Note: This post will stay at the top of my blog until the end of the contest on Friday evening, 11:59 p.m EST. Scroll down for my latest posts. Thanks!

Also, if you have an anti-spam function on Blogger, I was most likely at your blog this weekend but unable to comment. For some reason, a good majority of the anti-spam codes would not show up for me no matter how many times I hit "refresh" or "show picture." (Shelli, I had the same problem with your blog even though it's not on Blogger) Sorry!



I was recently contacted by Name Your Tune, which makes personalized CDs for children. They offered to send me a CD for Natalie and we LOVE it!

The CD has 14 children's songs, like "If You're Happy and You Know It" and "Wheels on the Bus," all with Natalie's name sung to the tunes. Our favorite is "Little Natalie Had a Farm."

In every CD, the child's name is repeated more than 80 times! How cool is that?!

The CD cover and the CD itself are so cute, too. You can even have the writing on the CD personalized. Ours says "Special Songs For You Natalie, Love, Mommy."

The CD case is environmentally friendly and made out of recyclable materials. And....I think this is the best part....a portion of each sale is donated to Hear, Here, a non-profit charitable foundation that purchases hearing aids for children, and is administered through The Hospital For Sick Children.

All of my blogging friends know how much I love celebrities. So imagine how excited I was to see the list of celebrities who have received these CDs! They include:

~Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
~Matt Damon
~Reese Witherspoon
~Gwenyth Paltrow & Chris Martin
~Adam Sandler
~Colin Firth
~Gwen Stefani
~Liv Tyler

Holla!!! That REALLY caught my attention, lol! Here's a quote from Eric McCormick from Will and Grace on Name Your Tune CDs:

"Thanks so much for the 'Finnigan' CD, although it just confirmed his belief that the entire world revolves around him. It's great fun and I wish you well with the whole venture. Cheers!"

AND, Name Your Tune has been invited to include their CDs in the "O is for OSCAR" gift baskets - "an exclusive bundle of must-have swag for celebirity parents and their children!"



Now, YOU have the chance to win a personalized CD from Name Your Tune for your child, and join the ranks of Brangelina! :)

Candace and Eric, the husband/wife team who owns Name Your Tune, is offering TWO prizes so there will be two winners!

They are also offering a discount for readers of my blog (they are so generous and wonderful to work with). Anyone wishing to place an order at Name Your Tune can just enter the code "NNHOL2005" (without the quote marks), and you will receive $5 off your order.

The contest for a free personalized CD (again...two winners), will run from today until 11:59 EST on Friday, July 27. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment here and I will put your name into the drawing.

If you're worried about protecting your identity, you have the option of contacting Candace or Eric directly with your information, rather than sending it to me. They will only use your information for sending your prize and will not share it with anyone.

As before, I'll be using Random.org to select a winner. First name or blog names are the only information I enter, and none of it is stored at or used by Random.org.

Have fun and good luck! :)
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This contest is part of the "Dog Days of Summer Bloggy Giveaway". There are LOTS of contests going on, so be sure to click on the picture of the doggy to find out where they are and enter away!

The Treasure & Second Chances

If you're anything like me, get ready to be jealous. As you all know, Jane from Pinks and Blues Girls blog won a spice rack that Bruce Littlefield found for her at the Brimfield Flea Market as her prize for winning our Treasure Hunt contest. She also won an autographed copy of Bruce's book Garage Sale America.

So without further ado, here is the adorable 50's style alumnium spice rack that I want to steal from Jane:



Don't you love Bruce's sense of style? He's not only a garage sale expert, he's also a designer and he's decorated his adorable country farm house in this style. You can see gorgeous photos and get style ideas for yourself in his book Garage Sale America.

Now for the most exciting part for those of you who didn't win the last Treasure Hunt. Here is a note from Bruce with the details:

dear blonde blogger dawn!

hey it’s me bruce littlefield at garage sale america back to my computer... after a week of adventure. i started out the week at the brimfield flea market near boston on a HUNT for a treasure for my favorite blonde blogger! (truthfully i was there because the boston globe invited me to boston for me to hunt for treasures and give tips on the hows, whats and whys.)

popular boston dj christopher muther is writing the piece. he’s fun and hilarious (and collector of lunchboxes, mcdonald’s toys, and such)...

anyway, my own personal mission for the adventure was to find something for your “garage sale america” treasure hunt. (thanks for doing that! and to everyone who went on our hunt.) i decided to see what fabulous find i could grab for five bucks.

and i found it! a fifties aluminum spice rack for five bucks. and i hear that jane at pinks and blues girls won. that makes me happy on several levels.

first, she’s obviously cool AND her parents happened to be at brimfield at the same time. i just wonder whether her parents would have bought the fifties aluminum spice rack or would of said “we had one of those.”

honestly, had jonathan (a boston globe cameraman, and incidentally, a hunky lester holt lookalike) not been following me around... i most likely would have kept it for myself and sent something else! she’s getting that and a signed book....

hey dawn... it’s so fun... let’s do it again....

everyone dawn and i will be announcing the next contest... SOON...(as soon as we decide what it is).

happy hunting everybody!

So there you have it! Another Treasure Hunt coming soon! Weeeee! So don't despair if you didn't win! A second chance will be coming soon. How cool is Bruce for doing that?!!

Thank you, Bruce! :)
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Note: Be sure to "tune" in tommorrow (I'm so good with these hints..haha!), for an exciting giveaway that you won't want to miss! And keep an eye out for the next Treasure Hunt contest, too!

And the Winner Is.....

.....Jane from Pinks and Blues Girls Blog! Congratulations, Jane!

Bruce has been traveling for a Barnes and Noble book signing and has not had computer access. As soon as he gets back to me (which I'm guessing will be sometime today), I will announce what the secret treasure is.

If you didn't win, but still would like to own the book Garage Sale America (and who wouldn't?!), you can order it here.

My thanks to Bruce Littlefield for his generosity in sponsoring this contest and for making it so much fun!

He is such an awesome guy and he's lucky he doesn't live near me, or I'd stalk him until he agreed to be my best friend, lol.

Seriously, though, he's a great guy and I feel privileged to have worked with him for this contest. Thanks, Bruce! :)