Coming out of the Dark Age

This is me sporting my new Ipod:



(Note: No one is ever around to take photos of me...how selfish are they? I couldn't back the camera up enough to get my face AND the IPod in the shot...not that anyone probably cares, lol)

How could I have spent so much time living in the dark ages? My gosh I am love with this thing! (Thanks again, Avi!) My favorite songs right now? Well, anything Timbaland, whom I worship. I exercised yesterday to:

~Elevator (Flo Rida and Timbaland)
~Low (Flo Rida)
~Umbrella (Rhianna)
~Hips Don't Lie (Shakira)
~Give it to Me (Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado)
~Obsession (Animotion)
~Break the Ice (Britney Spears)
~The Way I Are (Timbaland and some chic)
~Say it Right (Nelly Furtado)
~Piece of Me (Britney Spears)
~Gimme More (Britney Spears)
~Crazy On You (Heart)
~Magic Man (Heart)
~Promiscuous (Timbaland and Nelly Furtado)
And then I cool down to:
~Let's Get it On
~Sexual Healing
~Kiss You All Over
~The Pina Colada Song

Now I just need to figure out how to get my newer songs onto CD from Itunes (instead of the other way around...I figured that out fast...yay me!) so Amanda and I can dance to them.

Dancing is my favorite way to exercise. You totally don't even notice the time go by. *love*

My Grandma - The Snake Killer

This is my grandma:



She is 87. Her knees are really bad and she can barely get around anymore.

Having said that, when I talked to her on the phone the other day, she related this story to me (read with the sweetest old lady voice you can):

"There was a BIG black snake in the yard and I tried to chop him up with a hoe, but it didn't do anything to him!"

Hahahahahaha!!! I have this image of my little, sweet grandma hacking away at a big ass snake! First of all, I would've run the other way!

But not my grandma. She went after it with a friggin' hoe!!! But either it was too dull or she was too weak because it didn't put a dent in it, rofl!!! So there she is chopping at it while it's just squirming all over the place like, "WTF lady?!!"

My grandma so rocks!

Blonde's Favorite Things

Before I go into this post, can you believe the news about Patrick Swayze? So sad.
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Note: How big are the photos in this post? Geez! And I am NOT going through the trouble of loading them all again on Blogger so just bear with me.

I figured I'd pull an Oprah and have a favorite things "show" here. (This is NOT a paid or sponsored post, btw). If only I could REALLY be like Oprah and give you all of my favorite things. THAT would be fun.

Okay, ready? Favorite things #1:



The best smelling perfumes, evah!



From the Victoria's Secret Dream Angels collection, Heavenly is by far the best. And look:




It sparkles and glitters! What more could a girly-girl ask for? Then there's this:



Japanese Cherry Blossom from Bath and Body Works. It's smells soooo delish! I even bought a set of Wallflower plug-ins in this scent.

Okay, now for a drink that I found that I can't get enough of:





IZZE sparkling juice....in sparkling blackberry. It's all natural fruit juices mixed with sparkling water, and I could live on this stuff 24/7 it's so good.

Now for my favorite photo and my favorite LOL Dog:



How cute is that? And one of the comments on the post was even cuter. It was, "Doan come no closer. I kute you to def!" Awwww!

Now, I haven't even gotten this one yet, but this will soon become one my favorite things:



That, mah friends, is one fine lookin' Ipod Shuffle. And it will soon be mine, thanks to Avitable. I won this puppy on his blog just yesterday. Yay me!!! I can't wait to exercise to all my sexay music. Thanks, Avi! I will worship you forever and I will think about you every time I'm sweating on my treadmill. :)
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Now a couple of plugs for a couple of my favorite friends. First, my friend Heather McElhatton, author of one of my favorite books ever, Pretty Little Mistakes:



Her book is up for an award over at The Minnesota Book Awards. So go and give her your vote. She totally deserves it!

And my friend Flip, from The Flip Flop Mamma, has a wonderful Etsy store with wonderful goodies. My favorite being:



her homemade chai tea. Mmmmm! It looks so yummy!

She's having a giveaway to promote her store, so head on over and enter.

Oh, and have you checked out my store yet? *grin*

Score One for Mom!

Note: This was orignially written a couple of weeks ago...before I got sick, and has been sitting in draft mode until now.

Having to be out and about next to a gorgeous daughter does not do much for the old self-confidence. Except for the other night when Amanda and I went to our regular haunt for dinner.

A lady who worked there walked by our table looking at us and we got nervous thinking maybe they were closing and we should be leaving (it was after closing, but there were a few other groups there).

Finally, she looks at me and says (as if we're in high school), "He thinks you're cute." And she points to the guy behind the counter.

Amanda and I are all like WTF? And the whole crew is now staring at our table and laughing at the guy, who is clearly embarrassed.

So I do what any other self-respecting woman would do. I shouted in front of everyone to the lady, who had walked back behind the counter, "Who? Me or her? I have to know!"

And she pointed at me and said, "You!" As everyone that was left in the restaurant watched and laughed. But I had to know! And it was MEEEEEE!

Boo-ya! Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh! I had a smile on my face for the whole rest of the night!

Speaking of hot moms, check out this free magnet I just found while looking for an image for this post. If you're a hot mom, go get one before they run out! (And if you're brave enough, submit a video of yourself for the hottest mom contest too. I'd do it if I knew how).

My Sophie Pup

If you can stand it:



Sophie's LuLu Pink hairbow



The LuLu Pink tag (I love their line of products!)



Sophie sleeping with her GloWorm



Sophie in her new LuLu Pink purse.



Top: ad for a valentine cupcake
Bottom: Sophie looking like the cupcake

My baby gets spayed next week. She's never been away from me all night and I have to leave her there. She also hates cages and will cry the whole time. I don't know how I'm going to cope while she's gone!

Bet You Didn't Know This

Did you know that you can change the size of your staples? I know! How important is this?! And people are going around using their staplers not knowing this information! (I'm assuming most of you don't know....and if you already did know, then just lie so I won't feel stupid, k?)

I have been on this earth for 35 years, and I just learned this today. See the little metal plate that looks like it has a smiley face on it:



Well, there's a reason it has that smiley face. You can actually turn that plate around and have it face the other way:



Which, in turn, will make your staples larger/wider or smaller/narrow, depending on which way the plate was already facing.

You can thank my daughter for your newfound stapler enlightment. She figured it out in a fit of boredom and curiosity one time and decided to share this secret with me today. (there's a reason she's called "The Brilliant Brunette!")

In looking for photos to accompany this post, I discovered that we're not the only ones onto this secret. But I bet YOU heard it HERE first! :)

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I have a new contest going on at So a Blonde Walks Into a Review. My celebrity-lovin' self had a blast with this one. Head on over and enter!

And don't be surprised if you get a surprise when you visit here soon. I'm just sayin'. :)

"I'm Allergic to Nasty"

Amanda treated me to dinner the other night, and...Oh. My.Gosh. Okay, I'll just give you a run down so you can see how crazy we get when we are out together.

(note: I have photos on my cell phone to go with this, but still haven't figured out how to get the photos on here...I am lost without my laptop and I'm an idiot when it comes to my new phone, but I will try to get them on here soon)

(note #2: Aha! I was able to email the photos to myself and get them downloaded from my email account. Woo me!)



(This was not the photo of us in case you couldn't tell)

As soon as we got in her car to go to dinner, we went to play my Britney CD. It was dark and I couldn't see where to insert the CD and Amanda kept yelling at me, "Right at the top! Just put it in!"

So I did, all hurriedly, yelling "All right!" But then, no music came on. "It says 'No Disc.'"

We pull over to the side of the road and turn on the car light. It turns out I put the disc in the 1/5678925443th of an inch of space between the radio and the dashboard. It's stuck there even as I write this.

We then started talking about a house we have to go to soon to deliver a meal. It is a friend of a friend and they are...how shall we say...backwoods. Really backwoods. So no offense to those who are sort-of backwoods. :)

We were trying to figure out how we would leave after delivering the meal if we got stuck there talking or something.

So I said I'd make up an excuse. That I was allergic or something. And then I said something that Amanda said is the best line ever, and one we keep using every chance we get now:

"You'll have to excuse me, I'm allergic to nasty."

We repeated it all night long. "Hey, I can't be with you, I am allergic to nasty"..."Excuse me. Can you step back? I'm allergic to nasty." (say all of this with the bitchiest valley girl accent you can).

I even dared her to fake a sneeze at the checkout in the grocery store and say it to the cashier. She was actually going to do it, so I had to tell her not to.

I added a little something to the line...."I'm allergic to nasty, but I'm addicted to fine." But Amanda said I went too far with that and it wasn't funny anymore.

Finally we got to the restaurant. Have you ever been in a mood to dance, even when the music is lame?

You have to bear in mind, Amanda and I will turn out the lights in the family room, put on a strobe light, and dance all by ourselves for hours.



Well, we were joking about going all Coyote Ugly in the restaurant and what if we just started dancing on the tables? And this is to stupid songs playing. Really stupid.

But then. Suddenly. The urge became irresistible because..."SUPERFREAK" by Rick James came on. How can you not dance to "Superfreak?"

Somehow we suppressed our inner superfreaks, though, and left without making a scene. Although we did do little shoulder movements and head bobbing, which probably looked more like seizure activity than dancing to anyone watching.

Here's an example of us taking pictures of our lame hand dance moves with my cell phone:



And then we were just taking random pictures and laughing our asses off, which I'm sure all of the customers really enjoyed. Here's one where the camera distorts our noses so that we look like a John Lovitz photo, minus everything about him but his nose, of course:



After entertaining the crowd at the restaurant, we then made our way to Starbucks for dessert. You know how when a place is filled with people and they all turn and look whenever someone walks in?



Well that was the situation and we were very prepared. I had my hand on the door for the grand entrance and we had our game faces on...when we suddenly realized Amanda left her wallet in the car.

Game faces off, hand from the door drops, door slams closed, and we try to recover and pretend we meant to do all of that as we walk back to the car for the wallet.

It was as if the gods of coolness were like, "Uh...no. Don't EVEN pretend like you're cool after that."

Because as we walked to Amanda's car, she smacks her face into the car's antenna. I see her head bounce back out of the corner of my eye and she's doubled over laughing.

She can barely get out..."I...ran...my....face...into...the....antenna."

Then I double over laughing, which is not a good thing. Because when Amanda makes me laugh that hard, I ALWAYS pee my pants.



She gets her wallet, and I check for a pee spot. I mean I have to determine if it's small enough for us to make our second grand entrance into Starbucks. Luckily for me, there's no dark circle in sight, so we happily walk back to the store.

Our entrance was perfect the second-go-round. We know everyone was impressed. *grin*

For most people, the sugar rush from a Starbucks drink would make them hyper, but for us it's the opposite. I mean you can't get much more hyper than we already were.

The sugar was our kryptonite and we finally crashed when we got home, which equates into "normal mode" for most people.

But my Britney CD is still stuck in her dashboard. Any ideas on how to get it out? :)