Apr 1, 2008

I Love Emily Leatherman

Thank you Emily Leatherman, for being a famous crazy stalker and for doing this to my blog stats:
  • Total 43,583
  • Average Per Day 105
  • Average Visit Length 1:37
  • Last Hour 360
  • Today 1,003
  • This Week 736
And it's only 1 in the afternoon my time.

Emily decided to jump in the spotlight again, and since I'm the #1 Google result for Ms. Crazy, beating out TMZ, CBS, The Washington Post, etc., my stats are skyrocketing. Booo yeah!!!! Think I'll make it to 2,000 by tonight?

Okay, so speaking of crazy, here are all of the delirious fantasies running through my head, especially after seeing this blogger comment that was left for me:

"How much can I pay The Blonde Blogger to stalk me?"
*blush* Thank you anonymous, whoever you are. I think I love you!

So after my head swelled from the hits, then swelled some more from the comment, I started daydreaming. What if? What if some celebrity person stumbles on my site? What if it's a movie producer, modeling agent (I'm a former model by the way, ahem), talent scout, TMZ person (I'm a writer and celebrity-lover, ahem), or some other fantastic, never-really-going-to-come-by-here person comes by here?

They see my post, think I'm gorgeous and funny, and they offer me a role on a show? Or invite me to a Hollywood party? Or...or...or....I don't know.....some other never-really-going-to-happen-in-a-million-years scenario?

Maybe Brad Pitt will see this and decide that Angie just wasn't the right one for him and he'll start stalking me. I'll have to let him down gently because I am in love with my husband, and I'll forever be known as the "girl who stole Brad from Angie," (and I'll do it all for Team Jen!)

I bet Emily's looking a little less crazy with each word I write, huh? *grin*

Pee Ess: My daughter wants to be noticed to, so I promised to add this for her. She's getting a new site design today, so forgive her if her site is a little wonky. Let it be known that she is also open to all offers for fame. :)


John said...

RE: "..."How much can I pay The Blonde Blogger to stalk me?"
*blush* Thank you anonymous, whoever you are. I think I love you!"

Just when I think I couldn't possibly know less about women, you've shown me that I could. Hey, I think you're gorgeous and funny and all that!! I also thought that TELLING you so would be a sure ticket to getting my Creepy F**ktard Certificate and getting my ass whuped by your Marine husband. — So now that you know, I'm sure this knowledge is anti-climactic considering that maybe it was Brad Pitt who wants to stalk you. *sigh* I just can't win.

Eddie Christy said...

There's nothing like downing 2 chili dogs and then logging into your blog reader to see Brad Pitt's abs staring back at you. I guess I should have logged before I went to the kitchen!

whall said...

I'm the kind of guy who always has a Leatherman on his belt. Even when I'm dressed nicely in my suit, I still have it conveniently woven into my belt on my right side. My specific multi-tool of choice is actually the Victorinox SwissTool, but you can't beat the complete "I can do it" feeling you get when you know you have screwdrivers, knives, files, scissors, pliers, a can opener, a ruler and many other functional metal objects at your disposal.

Oh wait, you're talking about a different Leatherman. My bad.

ablondeblogger said...

~JOHN- LOL! You are hilarious! No, I am open to compliments any time, lol If you could see some of the emails I've gotten, you'd know that you are NOTHING like the creepy fucktards I've encountered.

You thought Rob was in the Marines? It's so funny, but so many people have thought he's either a) a cop b) a pro ball player or c) a military person. He actually works for a defense company, but he's not in the military.

Yeah, I feel really bad for Brad, but that's just the way things go. He's taking it pretty hard, but what's a girl to do? :)

~EDDIE- ROFL! Yeah, he pretty much has the most perfect abs on the planet. I feel the way you do whenever I look at a picture of Angelina. They should post photos of them in every gym in the country for motivation, lol. Hey, I love your song, btw! I'm going to download it on iTunes as soon as I get a chance.

~WHALL- I am so blonde that I did not get your joke until the end. I thought at first you meant you always have a crazy woman with you! Duh!

Did you know Emily is actually famous for throwing a screwdriver at someone? How's that for irony?

John said...

I've never seen your husband but since you've described what a creampuff he is, let me see about what I can do about getting in that creepy fucktard club... ; )

I'm kidding of course. Do not send Rob to whup my ass.

ablondeblogger said...


bermudabluez said...

Hey...I'm pretty behind in reading blogs, but just checked out Amanda's new site...cool new look! Hugs to Sophie!! and YAY Team Jen!!

ablondeblogger said...

Hey, BB! Good to see you! Yeah, I love Amanda's new look too. Mia from The Blog Cafe does awesome work.

Chloe looks sooooo adorable in her new pictures! Hugs to her from Sophie! (And I'm so glad you're Team Jen, too, hehe)

Anonymous said...

I live in constant fear that Megan Fox will start stalking me :)