I'm titling it "I Love Kenneth the Page." Or alternately, "Obsession."
Let's cue the music before we go any further:
Okay, on to the story. It goes something like this:
Kevin and I are new pages under Kenneth's "tutelage" as Kevin put it. (that word makes me giggle). I immediately fall in love with Kenneth the Page. I mean what's not to love about this guy:
At first, Kenneth is really happy to see me each day:
He even takes me out to a party after work on the set of TGS (work with me on the photo editing here, lol):
But my crush on him turns into a crazy, stalker-type obsession and he begins to get a little worried:
Suddenly, wherever he goes, I follow. He tries to keep that beautiful smile of his on even though he's totally creeped out. Elevator rides are the worst, as I'm almost always on there with him:
The crazier I get, the more Kenneth is turned off. But there's someone who actually loves my craziness. My new fellow page-in-training Kevin:
The crazier I get, the more Kevin wants me. But my heart is set on winning over Kenneth, so I resort to all sorts of tricks to get his attention. Like leaving a present for him in his office:
The final straw for Kenneth comes when I pop up on the stage from the audience of Late Night With Conan O'Brian in the middle of his interview:
It's also the final straw for Kevin, who realizes the only way to win my heart is to plot Kenneth's demise. Unfortunately for Kevin, the authorities get wind of his plot and promptly arrest him before he can carry it out:
But then Kenneth reports me and I too am arrested:
And Kenneth is finally free of the both of us. He demands that he gets the final approval of all new pages from then on out.
As for me and Kevin...well, not even jail could stop our obsessions. We were content to live them out through our cells.
The end! *bow* *bow* *bow*
Be prepared to see both me and Kevin on 30 Rock with our brilliant skit any day now. :)