Today, my son has the honor of serving his first mass as an altar boy:
That's him in his garb during his installation mass a couple of weeks ago. I'm so proud of him, and he is SO excited!
It's such a perfect day for him to have his first mass...the day that my faith celebrates Jesus' resurrection.
It's also a bit of a sad day for me, though, because this is the first year that none of my children will be waiting for the Easter Bunny to show up. Natalie came to me not long ago and said she no longer believes. *sniff* (Santa still seems to be real for her though....I think it was the whole bunny-as-a-human deal that she is no longer buying into, lol).
But this day isn't about talking, magical bunnies anyway. It's about this:
Wow. Are The Jonas Brothers going to be the next Beatles? Because judging from their record sales, press, fans, etc., it sure seems like it.
Monday night, I made the normally half-hour drive to the Nissan Pavilion to see The Jonas Brothers Burning Up Tour with Matthew, Natalie and Matthew's friend, courtesy of Mom Central (whom I won the tickets from....thanks again Mom Central!). Tickets that were selling for over $470 PER TICKET because we had first-tier, premium seats and the concert was sold out. Can you imagine????
But bringing the kids there was priceless. First of all, the half-hour drive was two hours. Over an hour was spent going a half mile to the pavilion. And in that hour, tons of teeny bopper girls passed our van.
It was so hilarious watching Matthew and his friend with these girls. "Dude, check out the Acura on the right." "The blonde is mine!" hahahahaha!
But the girls were actually waving to them and blowing kisses! I think that was almost as much fun as the concert for them. It certainly entertained me as I was trapped in the hell of concert traffic.
I should've trusted my friend John and brought my camera. But I had visions of having to trudge back to my van to return it if they turned me away (they were taking everyone's signs and trashing them as it was). Turns out, though, that just about everyone (except me) had a camera.
So I was left with a cell phone that was on low battery. This is as good as it gets guys:
This was only about 1/4 of the crowd and didn't include the orchestra section in front of us. Look how far back it stretches to the lawn. Unreal. SO many people were packed in there. Imagine them all leaving at once. Yeah, not good. Forgive my sorry attempt to edit this to protect the identity of Matthew's friend. This photo does not do our position justice. We were in the first tier and we could see them SO well. It was incredible!
Then I got this sucky video. Cell phones don't take video very well. All of the lights just blurred. But here it is nonetheless:
That guy to the very left of the stage is a stageguy and the person directly to the right of him is Joe Jonas. They talked to each other right in the middle of the song and Joe nodded his head at him like, "Oh, okay...sure." I have no idea what was going on but it piqued my curiosity.
Here's a MUCH better video of the opening which was beyond awesome...you had to be there to really appreciate the special effects, especially all the pyro stuff:
Different place and date, but the same thing (I couldn't find a good one of the opening at our venue). There was also a point where they were each raised WAY into the air on these tiny pedastals which was way cool. Big Rob came out and totally rocked and they also brought out the Bonus Jonas...their little brother Frankie (who was beyond adorable).
Another favorite point of mine was when Joe walked down the center stage and every time he threw his hand out, the fire would burst in the background as if he was controlling it. Probably had to be there to appreciate that one. :) Oh, and they foamed the entire orchestra section with these big hose gun thingies.
One girl actually left and sat on a wall to comb her her out. Silly girl. Where's the fun in that?
There was a HUGE wait between Demi Lovato's opening act (she was really good too) and the start of the Jonas Brothers. Close to an hour. I still wonder if something was up because that seemed ridiculously long.
Then leaving? More hell on earth. We stood still...literally no movement, for over a half hour in the parking lot. And I had a killer headache at that point with no medicine.
Then, some genius decided he'd rather be in my lane and scraped his SUV up against the side of my van, then looked at me like I was an idiot. I rolled down my window and said, "Dude! What the hell are you doing??" But he just kept giving me the weird look.
Concert was done at ten to eleven and we got home at 12:30....gah! But it was worth it in the end. My kids were on cloud nine (still are) and Matthew's friend's mom told me her son was the envy of his siblings and friends. I was so happy to be able to give that to all of them!
Note: Be sure to scroll down one post if you missed Matthew's birthday. I usually let a post like that sit for a couple of days, but I definitely had to put this up for Amanda
Today, Amanda heads for her new life at college. But it feels like just yesterday that she was born...
Just yesterday that I pinched those adorable cheeks...
Just yesterday that she had her first birthday cake...
Just yesterday when she still fit into her daddy's arms:
Just yesterday when she went through the tween stage:
Just yesterday when she thought thumbs up was the coolest thing you could do:
Yesterday went by so fast...
And now she's ready to spread her wings and fly...
Out of all the posts I've ever written, this is one of the most meaningful ones to me. So I ask you to indulge me a bit and share two songs with me that mean so very much at this time.
We'll never forget to remember you, Amanda....
(we really will be loading a Chevy today as we pack her up...weird....and I wish I could've made my own video with pictures of Amanda to the lyrics but I don't know how).
I couldn't find an embed code for the second song. So I couldn't post it here. But it would mean SO very much to me if you could click here and watch this video too. So much. It's incredibly moving. I promise you won't be disappointed.
That video could be our life story. It's eerily accurate since Rob and I were so young when we had Amanda. We were told we ruined our lives, that our future was over.
This video explains perfectly what it was like at that time and what it's like for us today as we send her off to college. One of the hardest days of my entire life.
"There goes our life. There goes our future, our everything. We love you. Goodbye."
We made it to my MIL's for dinner this evening and we had a wonderful time. We watched a home video of the kids when they were little and "Mark" was on them. It was bittersweet. It was so good to hear his voice, but so hard at the same time.
So on the drive home, I was already feeling a little down. Suddenly, a sweet, little bunny jumped out in front of my van. I tried to swerve one way just at the same time the bunny tried to dodge my van. Meaning we both went the same way.
And. I. Killed. The. Bunny. I ran right over him and you could hear him hit the bottom of my van.
On. Easter.
Who kills a friggin bunny rabbit on Easter?!!!!! I feel like I killed the Easter bunny.
I've never hit an animal on the road before. I've always been able to swerve and avoid them. But not this time. Of all times.
I sobbed hysterically all the way home while my husband tried to convince me that "maybe he survived it somehow" which only gave me visions of him wounded and suffering in the woods somewhere.
I wanted to go back and find him and hug him and tell him I'm sorry and bury him. But my family wouldn't let me, which is probably a good thing, because only a crazy person would do that. But I felt SO awful. And I can't stop thinking about the poor, little guy. :(
She is 87. Her knees are really bad and she can barely get around anymore.
Having said that, when I talked to her on the phone the other day, she related this story to me (read with the sweetest old lady voice you can):
"There was a BIG black snake in the yard and I tried to chop him up with a hoe, but it didn't do anything to him!"
Hahahahahaha!!! I have this image of my little, sweet grandma hacking away at a big ass snake! First of all, I would've run the other way!
But not my grandma. She went after it with a friggin' hoe!!! But either it was too dull or she was too weak because it didn't put a dent in it, rofl!!! So there she is chopping at it while it's just squirming all over the place like, "WTF lady?!!"
This can't be real. My oldest can NOT be turning 18 today. An adult daughter? Me? No freakin' way!
Happy birthday, Amanda! I love you, big or small.
And yes, you still have a curfew. :)
(There's a YouTube video below that might take a minute to show up. As soon as I heard this song for the first time years ago, I knew I would play it on her 18th birthday. Have lots of tissues ready. I can't even swallow after watching it!)
I knew it was coming. Yet I can't stop bawling as I type this. This morning at around 4:30 a.m., Amanda and I were at our beagle Copper's side as she was put to sleep.
It is so hard to have had her fate in my hands. To be the one to make this decision. I've been putting it off for so long, but the past couple of weeks, she was going downhill fast and I knew I wouldn't be able to wait much longer.
The vet said that our pets will hang on for us. I think she did that. She'd lost all bladder control and was bloated. Her organs were enlarged and she was having breathing problems.
But, as I contemplated whether or not to put her down, something strange happened. The past two days, she didn't have one accident. She slept up against my side of the bed, which was not her usual spot. She followed me around the house. She curled up next to the couch on the floor when I was sitting on the couch.
And tonight, as she became distressed with breathing, panting, shaking and anxiety, she looked up at me with eyes that said to me, "Please help me. I can't do this anymore."
Yet, even though I knew/know I was doing the right thing, I still feel so guilty. It's bittersweet though because at the vet, she lost all bodily control. She vomitted, defecated and urinated. She was shaking and panting uncontrollably. She was just so miserable.
So when they gave her the injection and she peacefully fell into my arms, I felt the strangest of emotions. Relief mixed with extreme grief. How can you feel both at the same time? I was so happy that she was at peace and not suffering, but I wanted her to get up again, wag her tail, and sit by my side.
The vet assured me I was doing the right thing. I do feel, logically, that I did. I feel like she is grateful that I let her go. That I did her a favor, not that I betrayed her.
But another part of me feels the opposite of all those emotions. It's just such a confusing mess of emotions. I can't believe she's gone.
I look at her empty chair, her empty bed, her dog bowls. I hear the clink of her collar as Amanda moves it around in her hands. It's just so.....empty. There's a void that is so deep.
Amanda didn't want to leave her. I told her she was going with us. "Just wait," I said. "We'll get a sign."
When I went out into the reception area, hanging on the wall was one of those tacky dog pictures. The ones where they're dressed up as humans as if they're a person.
It was a beagle. In full regalia. Happy. Head held high. It was my sign.
This poem below is for Copper. Please read it and pray, send good vibes, whatever you feel is appropriate. Anything to make sure she's crossed the rainbow bridge. Thank you.
The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
Goodbye my sweet baby girl. I will love you forever and always.
