This post has been edited on 10/21/08. The original post has been taken down and this new one has been put in its place.
If you're reading this, you most likely came here by doing a search on Tori Spelling or Dean McDermott. Little did I know when I wrote my original post that it would become the #1 result in Google for various searches on this couple. I never thought my little rant would go any farther than my small world.
Unfortunately it has and others have used it as fodder to try to smear Tori and Dean. I recently came across a site that Tori was interviewed on, where someone copied my post in the comment section and left their name as "The Blonde" (as if I'd left the comment myself).
I never would've written what I did if I knew it was possible to be read by either of them, or that it would garner so much attention. It was an angry rant that had more to do with the issue of cheating spouses than it did with them personally.
I still do feel the way I do about that general subject. But after reading my words again...having to face them after some time had passed...I have to admit I cringed. I was ashamed to know that I had been the one behind such venomous words.
My heart still hurts for their former spouses and the pain they endured. And most especially for McDermott's son and the baby that he almost adopted with his ex.
But I realize that all involved are human beings. That no one is perfect. And none of us have a right to sit in judgement of others.
As a Christian, that was very wrong of me and it was shameful to both myself and my faith. Quite frankly, it is none of my business. Their celebrity status does not give myself or anyone else the right to judge them or ridicule their choices, right or wrong.
I have no idea if they themselves have seen this post, or if they even care if they did. But I want it to be known that I am sorry for my words. I would like a clear conscience. I would like to be proud of my words here, not ashamed of them.
Thus, I have deleted the original post and have put this one up in its place.
I apologize to Tori and Dean and to others out there in their situation that I indirectly insulted.
I will not be deleting your comments here as I feel that would not be right (even though they too make me cringe reading them, especially knowing that my post incited them). I hope, though, that future visitors might think on this a little more deeply and will agree with me that we should not judge.
Peace to all of you.
13 comments:
I totally agree and it's about time someone said this. It sickens me that the tabloid and even People magazine celebrate this incredibly heartless selfish couple's union and subsequent birth of their children *yuck - yomit. It doesn't matter if one or both of their marriages were having problems. It's all a blame game to say it's the ex-wife Mary jo's fault. Ridiculous! She coud have been the the biggest bitch on the planet but she and her children did not deserve to be dragged through PUBLIC humiliation that Mr. McDermott and Ms. Spelling did to her family. They have no remorse or conscious. Like too ruttig pigs only intersted in their own pleasure, Disgusting. Her husband had a legal and moral obligation to his family and he threw it away without a glance. I read a comment where he told Mary Jo he wasn't leaving the children just her.. OMG! What a selfish asshole. He has 2 kids with the woman -- one of which he just adopted and then suddenly he isn't leaving the kids too? BS. Like leaving their mother high and dry for some horse-faced slut and very publicly committing adultery in front of mass media isn't going to have an effect on those poor kids? The audacity of this couple (couple of idiots I should say) is amazing and even more so is the media trying to shove their unholy union down the public's faces through magazines and their dippy tv show. I cannot believe there are people with brain cells ignorant enough to support these disusting animals who cannot control themselves. Mary Jo and Charlie you are better off without them. A couple of truer skanks could not be found
I feel for all children involved. It is so sad that these two did this with no conscience whatsoever. How could he leave his children? I wonder does he even try to see them. I watched one episode of Tori and Dean just to find out if he has anything to do with his kids from his first wife and there was not one mention of them. What is wrong with this guy! And Tori acts like she cares for her new baby and the one on the way but is seems to me she only cares about herself. I really don't care what consenting adults do and yes it is very sad that he broke his vows to his ex but I feel more for the children. They didn't ask to be born into such a fucked-up family. It seems most actors have no sense of reality anyways. I just wish they wouldn't bring precious babies into their messed up lives. Of course there are exceptions.
*applause, applause, applause*. I couldn't agree more. It's as if you took the words right out of my mouth. I find the both of them appalling, especially Dean McDumbass who has children from his first marriage (yeah, Father-of-the-Year; remember them?) who will no doubt be hurt by his self-centered, amoral, vile behavior. And don't get me started on T-Whore-i (I loved that btw; LMAO!) Spelling. What a remorseless skank. They both make me want to vomit. And it has to be said--all that plastic surgery, and she still looks a human horse. I guess all the money in the world just can't fix some things. Peace losers.
Tori and Dean are truley appaulig people who care about no none but themselves. shame on the oxygen network for allowing them to profit from their disgusting immoral behavior. I despize them and feel so very much for the exes and children who have been abandoned so carelessly. My hats off to you mary Jo and I hope yu can find someone and one day trust aain. Tori, I hope that Deans wondering eye one day leaves you alone and realizing what a disgusting whore of a home-wrecker you really are.
There are really some bitter women in this world. It is obvious that the problems were there in the relationships before they met or there would be no thought of leaving their current marriage. I too have been cheated on and know how it can scare you for life, but you then realize that it wasn't right if someone else can take it away. I wish Tori & Dean the best they look happy and when you are happy in your relationship your kids will only benefit from that. Staying in a unhappy relationship makes unhappy children.
Missy's response leads me to believe "Missy" is either a friend of Tori's, Dean's or possibly Dean or Tori themselves posting a message. IF they were unhappy they should have left the marriages before an affair. They have both proven themselves as untrustworthy and neither were honest with the spouses. You don't wait till you have another "bone in your mouth" before you leave the first and original spouse. HOw could they possibly trust each other? Or is one waiting for the next true soul mate to come along? Skanky all the way. And Dean is a slug. Don't blame Tori, Dean is the scummy bucket "wanna-be-actor" who used his wife until another meal ticket came along. He's trash. Tori is just a childish, spoiled rich girl who believes he loves her. He doesn't. It's quite apparent in the episode of their show where all he wants to do is go diving after being away from the family for a period of time. Tori is stuck at home with his child and his 2nd one on the way in her womb awaiting his return to be together. When he finally returns home to his family he forces his selfish act of diving trip although she repeatedly states how motion sick she will be. To make matters worse, he's being sexually suggestive to the dive instructor (who nervously giggles--don't forget she is a paid employee teaching him diving certification) while Dean ignores his pregnant wife for his own selfish, pleasure. Dean should have picked up a hobby that the entire family could have enjoyed. Instead, he chooses to dive with a "younger hottie" and embarrassingly using the stupid "bonding" with my dive partner quote as some reason to be closer to a young girl way too young to be interested in his aged, married and fat butt. They both deserve each other but we all know the children will pay the price once he moves on to another. Look real close Tori. He's in it for the money, Honey. I pray you have a tight prenup or perhaps you don't and this may explain why Daddy dearest didn't leave much of an inheritance to you. Daddy could see the golddigger for what he is...trash.
I really enjoyed reading your blog. It was very colorful and to the point.
From my perspective, traditional marriage is becoming almost extinct. People in our society view marriage as "until unhappiness us do part." It is troubling to see how many people claim "unhappiness" as a reason to divorce. You need to recognize only one person can make you happy; that is you. Your spouse cannot do this. I expect someone else to make you happy is simply unhealthy.
If you were expecting candlelight and romance each and every day, you should have not got married. Then, again, if you expect that, you should probably steer clear of any relationships. They will all have their ups and downs. In the downs is were the people with character are separated from those who do not.
I read above where someone wrote an individual should leave their marriage and not have affairs. I respectfully disagree. I feel you should do everything you can to make your marriage work. This includes years of counseling and working on the marriage together with both really giving 100%. I am not saying all marriages can be saved. I think some cannot. However, in my opinion, you need to do the work. You made the commitment. It is time to be an adult and live up to it.
I have seen too many cases where a spouse comes in, plays the “I've been unhappy for years” card and leaves like Dean. No working on the marriage. No years of counseling. Just blazes off without regard to the commitment they made.
They could be getting divorced to run off and join the circus or to continue having wild sex with their secretary at lunch every day. It does not matter. The issue I see is they are violating their vows either way.
Okay first of all I want to let you know that I am not a friend of Tori or Dean im just a bartender from a small ass town in the middle of nowhere. The reason I told you that is because you accused "Missy" of being thier friend. I understand that all of you are saying what your saying. But come on Tori and Dean are freakin' human beings for crying out loud. Really can YOU be judging them??? Are you completley holy and true yourselves??? Yeah probably not. I can especially tell with how judgemental and cruel your words are. And no im not holy and true either I know this. YES, what they did was wrong. But it wasn't an affair the carried on for months and months. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Apparently they weren't with the right people in the first place. And yes it is unfortunate that everything was put out thier in the public eye. Tori is a public figure of course every move she makes is going to be out there. So, because of that thier not supposed to be happy. Doesn't make any sense to me. If they are two cruel selfish loathing people like you say they are they will be punsished when thier time comes. So you calling them all those names and being so hatefull makes you just as small as you think they are. Well, I said what I wanted to say. If Tori and Dean truelly are in love and take care of thier kids and responsiblities like they should then good luck in everyhting you do and may God give you the strength to keep going.
dont you think its sad that you all sit here and are bitter at their relationship because they are so happy? Sometimes you have to be selfish to be happy and theres nothing wrong with that. Im glad dean left that 45 year old hag for tori, they are adorable together.everyone needs to just be happy for them.they married people they shouldnt have, and that was a mistake. you guys being rude isnt going to change anything. they are happy and dont even know you, while you sit here and fantasize about them and are angry for what they did. whos winning here?
Anon (or should I call you Tori?)- What makes you think anyone is sitting around "fantasizing" about it? The blog author wrote this post two years ago and hasn't said anything since. And from what I can see, she's pretty happy herself.
Being "adorable" together (which is subjective) and happy doesn't make what they did right. When Dean made vows to his wife, and when Tori made vows to her husband, did they tell them "til death do us part, unless I want to be selfish and be happy with someone else instead."
Why was Dean in the process of bringing another child into their family if he was so unhappy? Oh, yeah, that would be selfish, but according to you, being selfish is okay.
I'm sorry, but when your selfishness causes you to step all over other people, hurt them and ruin lives, it's NOT okay.
This isn't a contest anyhow. No one is "winning" or "losing."
We're all just speaking out against something we feel is wrong and standing up for those that were hurt by the selfish actions of these two people.
I happen to like their new show. (No I'm not T or Dean or a friend- wish I knew them)I think it is sad to know that they each left their spouse after cheating on them. I just read about Dean & his ex adopting a baby girl, that was very unfortunate to hear. If he was truely unhappy w/his marriage he should of told his wife sooner. My mother left my father years ago for another man, it did'nt last, it never does. Children don't forget things like that I was bitter towards my mother because she said she was unhappy for years, my answer is if you can't work on it for whatever the reason than be honest & divorce, don't play games. It's seems they want to keep Jacks' identity secret which is great, but why not do they same for Liam & Stella???!!! I know they will be in the lim-light, but try to protect them at all cost. I am a firm believer on what goes around comes around, because I have seen it all, I'm only 36, but recently have had several friends & family get divorced over the same situation. Those that left for others lasted several years & several more children all of a sudden ended, so all I can say is I hope for the kids sake they love them not matter what, whcih they seem to be great parent,becasue one day T or Dean will do the same thing again. Like Tori said in that diving episode she was jealous because Dean left his wife for her & she was worried it could happen to her, sorry girl even with all the tats on his body of you it probably won't last. Hope yall have a good life while yall are togehter. Take care of your kids, always.
Jacqueline
Its like everyone here has never heard of divorce or adultry. You cannot help who you fall in love with. If you are unhappy in a marriage and you find your real love, you cant just let it go. Is it right or fair to the children? No, its wrong, and they suffer, but kids suffer when there parents fight all the time to. I know from my life. I cannot judge them for what they have done. I just hope the children will be ok. The ex needs to grow up and set a good example for her children. Writing all these terrible things is just hurting everyone around them, she is the problem. Fact, he didnt love her anymore, so what. It happens. Dean and Tory are happy, so let it be. I just dont understand why people dont get it. They love each other, life happens, it may not make others happy, but life is hard and sometimes not fair at all. I am sure he loves his other children, and treats them well. She is just plain bitter, I say GET OVER IT ALREADY.
seriously! why is everyone sooo hell bent on "fitting" in to rules of love or marriages or relationships? everything thing is TABOO. betrayal can be very very damaging. on the other hand can maybe teach the other end something about who they are as a person. did you feel like every mate you had was your soulmate? if not, and you married them anyway..and 12 yrs later your mate says..i found them..my soulmate! wouldnt you want to find that too? its very rare when it happens. embrace it and your life is complete
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